Top 10 Most Ridiculous Conspiracy Theories Of All Time

By Ben Goldby on Dec 17, 08 10:37 AM

In celebration of the festive period and the inevitable journalistic silly season, I thought I would share my ten favourite crackpot theories in order of stupidity. Enjoy!

1. Kentucky Fried Chicken causes impotence in Black Men


Surely the strangest conspiracy theory of all time.
Colonel Sanders, the face and founder of the fast-food giant, was rumoured to have left 10 per cent of his earnings to the Ku Klux Klan in his will.
This sparked scurrilous rumours that the chain was being run by the KKK after his death, and that a drug was being used in the Colonel's "secret blend of herbs and spices" to render African American men sterile.
This most bizarre of theories even has a wonderfully ironic twist.
KFC is now owned by a black man.

2. The Nazi Moon Base

Hitler and his evil reign have spawned no end of urban myths, cults and conspiracy theories.
By far and away the most unbelievable of these is the theory that the Nazis had conquered space by 1942 and erected a base on the moon.
Not only had they constructed a military facility in outer space, but theorists would have us believe that the Nazis had also made contact with advanced alien races.
So palpably false is the theory that it would be condescending for me to point out the obvious flaws.
Suffice it to say that if Hitler had been capable of space travel, surely he would have done a little better against the allies in World War II.

3. Paul McCartney is Dead

Apparently the legendary Beatles singer was killed in a car accident in 1966 and replaced by a look-a-like/sound-a-like.
Theorists have pieced together what they think are a string of clues from various tunes released by the Fab Four after his supposed "death".
They claim that if you play Revolution 9 backwards you hear the sound of a car crash and the words "turn me on, dead man".
Fanatics also point to the iconic cover of the Abbey Road album with John Lennon dressed like a clergyman, Ringo Starr wearing a black suit, Paul walking without shoes out of step with the other Beatles and George Harrison's denim outfit resembling that of a grave digger.
There is absolutely no evidence to back up the bizarre theory, and it is likely that any "clues" planted in later songs were done so either unwittingly or as part of an in-joke between band members.

4. The Reptilian Humanoids

Playing in goal for Coventry City would not appear to be the most logical first step to revealing yourself as the son of God and saviour of the universe.
But you try telling that to David Icke.
The shell suit-clad former goalie remains convinced that his divine duty is to warn us of the impending doom our world faces at the hands of 7 ft tall, blood-drinking lizard people.
According to Icke, a string of US Presidents, senior diplomats and even the British Royal Family are reptilian overlords bent on war mongering and the creation of negative emotions to sustain them.
Strangest of all, he is not alone in his misguided world view, with hundreds of people across the globe buying into the reptilian humanoid theory.
Needless to say, evidence for this theory is thin on the ground.
Until they can produce a snap of the Queen shape shifting into a lizard, Icke and his pals are doomed to failure.

5. Elvis Is Alive

The King is dead, long live the conspiracy theory.
An alarming number of Elvis Presley fans still refuse to believe that their idol has passed on.
There have been numerous unsubstantiated sightings everywhere from Michigan to Manchester, thousands of fans have convinced themselves that Presley is still wandering the earth, just looking for some peace and quiet.
Of course the idea that the most famous musician ever to have lived could be pottering around the planet unobserved in the age of mobile phone cameras and the paparazzi is ludicrous.
But for many of his devoted fans, the fact that he died a drug-addled, bloated wreckage of a man is just too much to swallow.

6. Barcodes


The barcode system is not a simple way to tick your groceries through the supermarket tills.
Far from an innocent method of pricing goods, the barcode is a tool of satan.
The "number of the beast" 666 is encoded into each one, and the whole barcode system was designed by the devil to infiltrate the minds of the unsuspecting general public.
Is this convincing anyone yet? Nope, me neither.

7. Princess Diana

The most tedious and pathetic conspiracy theory of all time, it is also one of the most ridiculous.
Not only has the obsession with Diana lasted for more than a decade, but we have all been subjected to the most unpleasant and unreasonable conspiracy theories imaginable.
From the moment the "people's Princess" met her end in a Parisian tunnel, the conspiracy community went into overdrive.
It was the CIA, she knew too much, it was the Royal family, she had become an embarrassment, it was the Reptilian Humanoids, she was.........etc etc etc.
As if having to put up with this utter tripe wasn't enough, we were then made to pay up for a pointless inquest costing more than £10 million.
And still Mohammed Al Fayed won't drop his fanciful claims.
She was killed in a speeding car driven by a drunk driver, deal with it!

8. Marilyn Monroe was Murdered

How did the "sexiest woman in history" meet her maker?
Most sane people would have to conclude that it was either suicide or an accidental drug overdose.
But there are a small number of theorists who believe she was the victim of a sadistic murder plot.
Her supposed killers range from Mafia bosses to her alleged lover President John F Kennedy.
Some theorists even claim JFK sent his brother Bobby to inform Monroe that their relationship was over on the night of her death, and that the Kennedy boys somehow conspired to ensure her silence by bumping her off.
An absurd and offensive conspiracy theory to the memory of both Kennedy brothers, this one really is better off ignored.

9. Wingdings contains hidden messages


A corporation as powerful and wealthy as Microsoft was always going to attract attention from the conspiracy community.
But when the big "Microsoft Controls the World" theory was unveiled, it was such a farce that even the most hardened of theorists laughed it off.
Following the 1992 launch of the Wingdings font, students with too much time on their hands began to play with the typeface, which replaces letters with well-known symbols.
Satanic teachings, secret plans for world domination and even future terror plots are among the weird and wacky messages supposedly contained in the font. In particular the letter NYC are spelled with a skull & crossbones, the star of David and a thumbs up, a signal to some conspiracy theorists that Microsoft was encouraging attacks on Jewish targets in New York.
Not surprisingly the company issued a strong denial, saying the Wingdings symbols were randomly selected.
They need not have bothered, this is a conspiracy theory only suitable for the truly delusional.

10. Michael and LaToya Jackson are the same person


To call this a conspiracy theory may be a little too kind to those who believe it.
This is more of a delusion, or a weird obsession with the Jackson family.
Both the King of Pop and his sister are rumoured to be big plastic surgery fans.
And they do look surprisingly similar.
I suppose you have to ask yourself this, have you ever seen them in the same room at the same time?

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