Twenty Twelve is actually brilliant and I really think that

Here's the thing, guys. Actually, Twenty Twelve is one of the best documentaries on TV. And I really think that. So that's all good. Not a problem.

What do you mean, it's not a documentary? The trials and tribulations of the Olympic Deliverance Commission seem extraordinarily real.

The BBC2 comedy featured an Olympic countdown clock that stopped, a bus that got lost on the way to the Olympic stadium and drove round in circles for hours, and a security nightmare involving starting pistols. And in this week's episode, they were lamenting how hardly any tickets had been sold for the women's football.

Scarily, all these events happened in real life. American athletes took four hours to get by bus to the Olylmpic village, and disappointing sales for football matches has led to large parts of the stadiums being closed off to give the illusion of a fuller house.

Actually, reality is more bungling than anything the script writers could have dreamed of. They didn't imagine that we would be short of security guards to the tune of at least 3,500.

Frankly, G4S boss Nick Buckles makes Ian Fletcher look like the Steve Jobs of management.

I have loved spending time with this incompetent bunch, their brilliant catchphrases and their ridiculous talk of legacy, sustainability, inclusivity, diversity and multiculturality.

It would be great if the team stayed together for our TV entertainment, so I'm voting that they organise the 2014 Commonwealth Games in Glasgow.

Come on, let's diarize it now!