February 2012 Archives

Surely the funniest thing on TV in ages was the sight of two girls, dressed as a pineapple and a palm tree, waddling along - then trying to fit, head first, into a car.

This was the wonder of Big Fat Gypsy Weddings, which made a triumphant return to Channel 4 last night to more than six million viewers.

Yes, every episode is virtually the same, but that's why we like it. Just keep showing us the hilarious and hideous outfits, please.

It was Delores who decided on a bizarre tropical theme for her 'night before' party - she'd already got her cat theme sorted for her wedding dress.

Even dressmaker Thelma Madine was dubious about the pineapple and palm tree, saying "I think you've gone too far now.". Though once she'd made them, she thought the dresses were 'lovely'.

No they're not, they're horrible! And horrendously expensive, no doubt.

The other comedy/disturbing highlight of the hour were the nine-year-old girls getting fake take and false nails for their first communion.

"What's the most important part of the day?" one was asked. "The dress!" she immediately replied, before adding, after being prompted, "oh and receiving Jesus Christ".

It's always slightly annoying when one film or person dominates an award ceremony.

Much as I liked The Artist, I didn't think it deserved to win quite so many BAFTA awards as it did last night. I hope it doesn't do as well at the Oscars.

Taking home SEVEN gongs, including Best film, director and actor, it's no wonder the cast and crew looked a little sheepish by the end of the night. Even if they did give charming speeches.

Director Michel Hazanavicius said he was thrilled that Brad Pitt had pronounced his name correctly - have a heart for us scribes trying to spell it - while actor Jean Dujardin said: "To receive this award from the country of Laurence Oliver, William Webb Ellis and Benny Hill is an honour."

But the laughter that greeted Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy writer Peter Straughan when he thanked The Artist "for not being adapted from a book" seemed tinged with a little bitterness from the audience, who no doubt wished the awards had been shared out more evenly.

I was disappointed for Gary Oldman, who really should have won Best Actor in his native Britain.

Good to see John Hurt being recognised though, and accepting his special contribution award with such dignity and grace.

Two double acts provided the humour, intentional and unintentional. In a particularly star-studded night, I loved Hugh Jackson and Russell Crowe's banter, especially Crowe saying 'Call this an effing opera house?". We'll have you back anytime, boys.

But the real comedy highlight of the evening went to Meryl Streep accidentally losing her shoe and her Prince Charming, Colin Firth, putting it back on her foot.

Well done Meryl. If there's one thing we Brits like more than a talented actress, it's a talented yet clumsy actress.

Well, I like Harry Hill's TV Burp, and I like Take Me Out. Which is better? There's only one way to find out....FI...no, let's carefully dissect them in a blog.

Actually I normally find Harry to be more entertaining, but his return to our TV screens was a little disappointing.

I liked his jokes about EastEnder Jane heading off to Cardiff, but he spent far too long kneading bread in a daft slapstick sketch which really outstayed its welcome.

In contast, the final 10 minutes of Take Me Out was TV gold, thanks to an idiot called Damion Merry. He was a model who was clearly used to women falling at his feet, but managed to alienate all the girls on the show through his tactless comments.

Lucy put her light out as soon as it was revealed he had dated Jodie Marsh, only for him to tell her he had been going to pick her.
Which of course pleased all the other girls no end.

He proceeded to say he always attracted blondes so he wanted to pick a brunette for a change. Which really pleased all the blondes left.

"I had no choice," he said of the two girls he had left. Further endearing himself to them.

Well done Steph for saying, to his final question, "I would have a really good answer for this if I liked the lad."

He picked Chelsea, who looked crestfallen. Let's hope she leaves him behind on the legendary Isle of Fernandos.

And if you didn't see this squirm-inducing TV moment, have a look here.