Show Me The Nastiest Judge on Telly

Some readers - especially John Barrowman fans - may think I'm too mean about some people on telly.

But I am a pussycat compared to the viciousness of Kate Copstick, one of the judges on ITV1's stand-up comedy contest Show Me The Funny, who makes Simon Cowell look like Rolf Harris.

It takes real balls to get up in front of an audience and try to make them laugh, but even more guts - or a heart of stone - to be cruel about someone to their face.

"Are you aware that you have all the personal warmth of a Nile crocodile?" she told one contestant.
"I'm not always like that," he replied.
"I've seen you twice and yes, you are," she countered. Ouch!

She told another bloke - who'd got a standing ovation - that he was lazy and smug, and another that he was appalling at accents. Don't hold back, Kate.

Also last night, I happened to catch an episode of Celebrity Apprentice, which was screened in America back in 2008 so I'm baffled why they're only getting round to showing it here now. There have been three series since, starring the likes of Joan Rivers, Sharon Osbourne, Meat Loaf and David Cassidy.

Why don't we do this in Britain? Not the short version that's just done for Comic Relief and is over in a day or two, but a proper, full-length series with different tasks and someone being fired every week. It'd be better than Celebrity Big Brother.

In the 2008 series, Piers Morgan was the star. I'd love to see him take part in a British version and go up against his old adversary Lord Alan Sugar, who'd be a lot more straight-talking with the celebs than namby pamby Donald Trump, whose ridiculous hairstyle means I can't take him at all seriously.