March 2011 Archives

I'm a big fan of Miranda Hart, even before she became the comedian of the moment and won three British Comedy Awards.

I said she was hilarious.

But I worry she may have let all the recent attention (she also won Comic Relief Does MasterChef) go to her head and over-reached herself.

Because her stint this week on Radio 2 was disastrous. She teamed up with Jon Holmes for three evening shows and proved to be very poor temporary replacements for Radcliffe and Maconie.

She mainly just spoke gibberish and stumbled over reading out texts and emails.

She described a soft rock ballad as "softer than a chick in a fleece that's the fleeciest of fleeces".

Then she treated us to 'jokes' like "On this day in history, Alexander Graham Bell invented the transvestite".

Oh dear. It was just embarrassing.

I still love her sitcom, but that's what she should stick with. Some comedians, like Alan Carr, can be great on the radio but Miranda clearly isn't one of them.

They've axed Zen and Whites, but at least the BBC has done something right with one of the shows it's dropped - My Family.

Mind you, it took them long enough. This turgid sitcom has been dragging on for 10 series and there's still going to be another one before they finally put it out of its misery.

They can hardly have a sitcom about a couple and their three children who live at home when they're all grown up now.

My Family has had a good run - far too good, in my book - at more than 100 episodes, but it's time to make way for fresher material now.

So bye bye Ben and Susan, I won't miss you.

I'm feeling a little sick after overdosing on celebrity reality shows, a binge which has left me glad that I'm not famous.

If I was, I'd no doubt feel the need to spend 50 hours and £6,000 on turning my almost black hair bright blonde, like Jordan. You don't need to be a hairdresser to know that making such an extreme change is a really bad idea which is bound to wreck your hair, but then I get the feeling that no-one has the courage to say no to Pricey.

After all that agony - oh yes, sitting in a chair being pampered is traumatic and "exhausting" - Katie declared "I don't like being blonde".

Her latest fly-on-the-wall documentary, Katie, is now on Sky Living rather than ITV2, but the narration isn't any more interesting. "Evening turns to night" was one of the fascinating phrases we were treated to.

Still, Harvey in a bath full of bubbles was very cute.

So too are Jade Goody's two sons - she can be very proud that they're being brought up properly by the amiable and sensible Jeff Brazier rather than her ex-husband Jack Tweed, who didn't come across particularly well on Jade Changed My Life.

It was poignant to watch footage of Jade, so full of life with her beaming smile and great laugh.

Finally I watched the second installment of Lily Allen: From Riches To Rags. At this rate, the title will come true because she'll have blown all her fortune on opening her shop.

She's already spent half a million quid and the vintage clothes shop isn't even open. Surely most businesses start up with far less cash?

"I hate talking about money, it makes me feel sick," said Lily. Err, something tells me you shouldn't really be going into business then.

She's also ignoring Mary Portas's advice about where to open her shop, which is not wise. She's called Mary Queen of Shops for a reason.

And who has Lily got working with her to make sure her venture isn't a flop? A stylist called Jess who thinks everything is 'amazing' and consults a psychic for guidance, and who says of the launch: "All of the eyes of the world are going to be on us", which is perhaps overestimating our interest in their little shop.

Lily is also 'aided' by her sister Sarah, who has no idea about finance, doesn't understand what dividends are and hadn't even thought about security or alarms for the shop. But has earmarked £20,000 to spend on furniture, excluding clothing rails.

Twenty grand on a few chairs and maybe a sofa? This really is how the other half live. I still don't want to be famous, mind.

There's even more trouble down Midsomer way than usual - and I'm not talking about all the murders in the ITV1 drama.

The latest 'criminal' is the series' producer and creator, Brian True-May, though he might argue he's been a victim, of political correctness.

He has been suspended after making ill-advised remarks about the 'whiteness' of Midsomer Murders.

He said: "We just don't have ethnic minorities involved. Because it wouldn't be the English village with them.

"It just wouldn't work. Suddenly we might be in Slough... We're the last bastion of Englishness and I want to keep it that way."

I have met Brian many times and always found him great to interview because he's so open and revealing in his remarks.

Now he's been a bit too revealing. I disagree with the way he's phrased these comments and he's bound to get into trouble by so blatantly saying he is discriminating against ethnic minority actors. His equating of the word 'English' with 'white' is unfortunate and I can understand people being offended.

But this is a fictional work, and it's not essential that every drama reflects society. If people don't like his ethnic-minority-free land, they don't have to watch.

The fact that Midsomer Murders does so well in the ratings does suggest that many viewers like it just the way it is.

Like it or not, the way the Midsomer villages seem stuck in the past, resembling how every town in Britain was in the 1950s, may be just the reason why some people enjoy watching it.

This isn't a soap. Midsomer isn't a real place - if it was, no-one would move there. Not because they hate its lack of ethnic diversity, but because of his ridiculously high crime rates.

OOH Johnny, you're looking better than ever!

Here is Mr Depp striking a pose on the new poster for Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.

Captain Jack Sparrow can splice my mainbrace any time (sorry).

Perhaps I'd just got my hopes up too high, but I was really rather disappointed by the last episode of Being Human.

Last week I was full of praise for the penultimate episode, which was packed with tension and surprises. And tonight's finale started well enough, with Herrick in a police uniform - always a good look - and Lacey Turner in fine form as Lia.

But then Herrick met an underwhelming death with a stake through the heart. He deserved better after being possibly the best character in the series, and his end came with more of a whimper than a bang.

Then it all started going to pot. Lia admitted her prophecy, on which all the tension of the series had been based, was just made up. She went from furious avenging ghost to a rather foolish little girl wanting a hug, while Nina went from being at death's door to making the tea.

We got a lot of repetitive talk between Mitchell and George, and a bit of emotion, before another character came in spouting nonsense and George staked his best friend.

Sorry, but I really wasn't that moved - and I love MItchell.

So will there be another series? More to the point, would be want one without Herrick and MItchell? Maybe not, and I really didn't think I'd be saying that. What a shame.

Image via Wikipedia

Dermot O'Leary has admitted he is disappointed not to have been made the host of the US X Factor, according to reports.

The Brit had been shortlisted for the job but Simon Cowell has now revealed the US version of his TV talent show will be co-hosted by a "non-conventional" female superstar and a male pin-up singer.

Dermot was quoted as telling the newspaper: "I am obviously disappointed that I didn't get the American gig. I would have loved a crack at it. At least I was the only Brit to make the shortlist."

It could of course be more to do with the fact that he has a presenting style that is at best gushing and at worst resembling a wardrobe.

Image via Wikipedia

I have been watching this Heston Blumenthal: Mission Impossible thing on Channel 4 and I have to say I think it's very entertaining, good TV but ultimately fairly stupid.

The first week saw him go into a hospital where yes the food was diabolical according to the patients but his replacement of worms injected with ketchup was slight absurd to say the least.

We then had the great Cineworld episode last week where he did actually come up with a good idea of an inside out hotdog, but he also was genuinely upset when his idea of serving up 4D 'treats' whilst the film played out was rejected flatly.

Hardly surprising when he was replicating the tastes and smells of fish dismemberment, and giving cinema bosses little soap dispensers full of white pineapple liquid whilst an orgy played out on screen.

These ideas make his seaweed cottage pie from last night pretty sensible.

Of course the idea is that he is a food scientist with wacky ideas - I get that.

Really though if a hospital, airport, cinema want common sense, money making/saving ideas with a practical outlook they need to be looking at Jamie Oliver.

The whole point of this show is just a showcase for his insanity and I don't buy his hurt little boy routine when they turn their nose up. He is an intelligent guy, but as a problem solver for food conundrums he is not the right chef!

It is great though and I am sure it gets the punters through the door at his Michelin Star restaurant.

The most gripping drama of the week - no, make that the year so far - was undoubtedly Being Human.

I felt I needed to lie down after the astonishing episode, which featured humour, tension, a shocking death (perhaps), Robson Green's naked bum and Duran Duran.

What more could you ask for?

It was full of twists and great performances, especially from the underrated Jason Watkins as Herrick. He's an amazing actor yet one who stays under the radar for some reason.

Being Human just wasn't the same without Herrick being his wonderfully evil self, so the latest episode put that right.

What a shame that Sunday's episode will be the last in this series. I can't wait, yet I don't want it to be over just yet.

More, please, and soon!

"I can't vote for him. I'm supporting the other guy even if he's a child murderer," said one of the Grassington villagers in the fascinating new Channel 4 series Love Thy Neighbour.

As he was talking about a black man, it seemed a shocking comment, and as if he was being even more prejudiced that all the other white, middle-class, ageing Yorkshire folk who were deciding which of two couples could win the chance of moving into their village.

But as it happened, he was biased against the nice black couple, Phillip and Simone, for a different reason - because Phillip was hoping to stand as a Conservative MP.

It was really interesting to see the Grassington folk trying to appear open-minded about who they wanted to live in the village, while talking about how some couples might not fit in.

Pensioners Bunty and Mary were great viewing, like something out of Creature Comforts, and deserve their own spin-off show.

In the end, two-thirds of the village voted for Phillip and Simone and their cute boys over white, middle-class couple Nicky and Steve and their teenagers, from Birmingham, proving they weren't so narrow-minded after all.

I rather think it was the right result, but then I took against the Brummies as soon as they said they wanted to move from lovely Moseley for a new life in the country. Now who would want to do that?!