November 2010 Archives

Thank goodness for that. Sanity has finally prevailed on The X Factor and Wagner has been booted off.

It's about time. He actually left about three weeks' too late, and had outstayed his welcome to such an extent that even his mentor Louis was tired of him.

Not for him any 'oh no, I couldn't possibly choose between my acts, I refuse to make a decision'. Not even a 'well this is a hard one'. When asked by Dermot, Louis immediately said 'I'm saving Mary and sending Wagner home'.

The Dudley dandy was pretty gracious in defeat, but I won't miss that creepy insincere smile permanently plastered on his face. Or those dangly earrings.

Meanwhile, I'm actually starting to really enjoy Ann Widdecombe's performances on Strictly Come Dancing.

Or, more precisely, Anton du Beke's performances. He's the one that really brings the humour out of their act and really puts the work in, dragging his partner around.

The Titanic themed performance was inspired and made me laugh out loud. I reckon Widdybeke won't be hitting an iceberg any time soon and could even make the final.
It would be a travesty if she actually won, though.

Stupid, pointless, but brilliant...

Sky 1's An Idiot Abroad restored my faith in television, one of the funniest programmes aired for ages and if it didn't make you laugh then you are clearly dead.

Karl Pilkington worked on radio shows with Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant before appearing on the show and became a cult figure on Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant's radio show.

Here's Karl talking about the show and lots of other stuff as you would expect...

On Travel

"I don't understand that saying 'travel broadens the mind' - The mind cannot be broadened after the head has stopped growing. My mind was full before I did all these trips. All that has happened is that some of my older memories have been replaced with some new ones, which is annoying as the old ones were better memories than the new ones I've put in there. Well, I think they were."

On Fame

"I wouldn't say I'm famous. I'm not driven about, or have people doing errands for me. That bloke who stands at Oxford Circus preaching 'are you a sinner or a winner' is known more than me. Life hasn't changed that much other than my car insurance has gone through the roof. It's a right rip-off."

On being an 'idiot'

"It's only ever Ricky who calls me an idiot. It did annoy me when he called me on my last trip in Peru. I'd just come out of the jungle and he called to tell me the series name had changed from Karl Pilkington's Seven Wonders Of The World to An Idiot Abroad. The good thing is, most people who stop me in the street say they agree with most of what I say."

The future...

"I've no idea. Other than whose mam and dad is coming round to dinner each year I don't do planning. Who knows what I'll be doing. When Coolio was at number one with Gangsta's Paradise, I doubt he had Celebrity Big Brother on his plan list."

On eating dog

"We stopped off to get something to eat at a cafe in the middle of nowhere when I was in China. The woman brought loads of plates to the table. There was pork, beef, chicken, prawns, rice, noodles, and I tucked into what I thought was beef but it turned out to be dog. It tasted like cheap meat and smelt odd."

The future

"Suzanne (Karl's partner) is jealous from all my travelling. She said she wants to see a giraffe so it's either a safari or London Zoo. It won't be for a while though as I'm sick of travelling.

"I'm doing up the kitchen. I've tiled it, changed the hood above the hob and painted. Just one more wall left to do and then the floor needs sorting.

"I've never really been one for making long-term plans. I think they get in the way. That's what was good about doing An Idiot Abroad, everything was a surprise to me: Even the title."

I genuinely think that we should just stick these TV gems back on television. It's not like there is anything better on is it!

Actually, no I'm not sure what my point is here either....

Get it back on the box!!

My good lady and my eldest daughter are watching I'm A Celebrity so I have absolutely no choice but to watch it either.

What a load of old rot it is this time around.

Not only are the celebs (?) non-descript, annoying and boring but the whole show just reeks of cliche.

1 I hate Ant and Decs fake concern at the contestants plight
2 I hate the overuse of their 'Get Me Outta Hereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee holler
3 Where else can they go with the nasty eating - as soon as we had Kangaroo's testicles there was nowhere else to go.
4 It's obvious the British public will keep voting for Gillian McKeith

There are load more but I can't be bothered, it is a tired format though and what was once an innovative and entertaining show is now in danger of becoming the new Big Brother.

I hope it gets better, sadly I think even Shaun Ryder can't even save it.

Here are some questions that occured to me while overdosing on reality TV over the weekend.

Firstly, who on earth is voting for Wagner on The X Factor? He really is beyond a joke now, he can't sing and isn't in the least bit entertaining any more. He comes over as a demented, confused old man leering at the female dancers while desperately trying to remember the words to the song.
Put him out of his misery now.

Incidentally, what on earth was Cheryl doing with her hair on Sunday? It was like a cross between Minnie Mouse, Princess Leia in Star Wars and satanic horns.

I'm also of the opinion that it's almost time for Ann Widdecombe to leave Strictly. She has given more entertainment than Wagner, and I'd like to see her samba on Saturday in Blackpool, but the thought of her attempting the rumba, the 'dance of love', with Anton just makes me feel queasy.

And now on to the welcome return of I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here. I have a bet on with a friend that Gillian McKeith will only last another day before breaking down in tears and walking off the show, judging by her hysteria at every little thing she faces in the jungle.

If she's terrified of 'everything that moves', why on earth did she agree to take part? Didn't she realise what it would be like, and that viewers sense weakness and pounce on it, like sharks smelling blood? They'll vote for her to undertake every single Bushtucker Trial until she cracks, and I'm not surprised.

She's always been intensely annoying with her patronising dietary advice, but here she's unbearable.

Lembit Opik is also pretty irritating, but my early favourites are Stacey, for her genuine enthusiasm, and Nigel for his dry wit (and the fact he clearly doesn't like Lembit).

From the moment he came out with absolutely ridiculous comment that "If I was an apple pie, the apples inside would be orange", Alex Epstein sealed his fate on The Apprentice.

He couldn't possibly be allowed to continue in the competition - although, frankly, I'm amazed that Stuart Baggs is still there.

He's the man that said of his product "I liken it to an ugly man". What?

If only Alex had taken Stuart and Laura into the boardroom, he might well have survived.

Frankly, both TV adverts were as bad as each other. Alex was up against sniper Christopher and it was always going to be hard to beat a Marine, but their cheesy ad was awful.

"Sex sells" said Christopher. But not cleaning products, surely.

I like Liz and can't help rather admiring banker Chris, who at least tried to come up with an idea, even if Germinator might not be the best invention ever.

Alex was terminated by Lord Sugar, but he missed the golden opportunity to say 'I'll be back'. And I rather wish he had come back, if only to make Stuart eat an item of clothing from each of his housemates.

Forget who's going to get kicked off X Factor, the really tense TV moment tonight came on The Cube.

This nerve-shredding game show really put us through the mill with the efforts of Christian from Birmingham as he tried to put a stick through three small holes. It's a lot harder than it sounds.

He had five lives to complete the task but, as I watched behind a cushion, he failed, walking away with nothing.

I felt sorry for the poor lad, who seemed nice enough, if a little arrogant.
He'd already won £20,000 but this wasn't enough for him. He thought he could win the task and £50,000, despite his girlfriend telling him 20 grand was fine.

No doubt she's now desperately wondering how they are going to pay for their honeymoon. He admitted he'd paid the deposit but didn't have the rest of it.

That, sadly, is typical of people today, thinking they can have things they can't afford. Not got the cash for a nice holiday? No worries, just borrow it and get yourself into a right pickle with debt. Or, even better, go on a game show.

Just remember not to be too greedy and walk away before you blow it.