October 2010 Archives

Jedward are planning to battle this year's X Factor winner for Christmas number one.
John and Edward Grimes - who failed to win last year's ITV talent show, but have gone on to become stars in their own way - want to release a single at the same time as the winner to rival them in the carts.

John said: "Me and Edward are going to go for Christmas number one this year. We're going to do it and sell thousands of copies and out sell the X factor. Millions! It's going to be huge. it's going to be going Christmas number one."

What an absolutely cracking episode of Spooks this week.

Oh dear John/Lucas, you really do have blood on your hands now, after letting an innocent girl die to cover up your betrayal.

I'm not too sure how you're going to wangle your way out of this one, which is a great shame as I really rather like you. But we should know by now that we can't get too attached to Spooks characters as they usually (apart from Harry, the ever-constant, reassuring presence) end up dying horribly after two or three series. And this is Richard Armitage's third series.

At first I thought working at MI5 was a bit like my life, when Tariq had a tantrum, threw his laptop down and stomped off saying 'I can't take it anymore'.

I know how you feel, mate. We've all had days like that.

But of course he wasn't so unprofessional, behaviour like that is not allowed on The Grid. It was all just a clever rouse.

How fantastic to see lovely Malcolm back, and his mum, though is she a fake mum? It's all too enigmatic.

I can't wait for next week. What a shame there are only two more episodes left.

Well done Israel for coming up with an interesting new twist to their version of Strictly Come Dancing.

They are putting the first same-sex couple on the dance floor when Dancing With The Stars starts next week.

TV presenter Gili Shem Tov, who has a female romantic partner, said dancing with another woman felt "natural" to her. She will be partnered with professional dancer Dorit Milman and they'll take it in turns to take on the traditional male role of leading the dances.

It could be fun and lead to other versions of Strictly following suit.

I don't want to take any credit, but I would like to point out that I did, in fact, predict this.

Well, not quite. Jimi Mistry did, in a dream.

Click here to find out how.

I really don't know what was more appalling - daring to charge £1.82 for a bread roll, or promising to deliver 1,000 of the things and then turning up with just 16.

Actually I think Melissa was the worst candidate in this week's Apprentice bakery task and had a remarkably lucky escape.

"I'll be really good at this," she declared at the beginning, a sure sign that she was going to prove hopeless.

It was painful to watch her floundering in the sales pitch and unable to do any sums on the calculator. Then childishly arguing with a team mate about how many A stars he got for his GCSEs.

A lot of things seem to 'speak to' Melissa, but she clearly does not hear a voice saying 'you're rubbish!'.

Shibby was pretty bad too, and I reckon he blew it in the boardroom when he said 'I'm glad my pitch was a disaster'. That's really not the right attitude.

By the way, I'm loving Dara O Briain on You're Fired, he's an excellent replacement for Adrian Chiles.

This series of The Apprentice is shaping up to be fantastic viewing. Can't wait for them trying to sell products next week.

I like to feel proud of my fellow females when watching TV, but that certainly wasn't the case in this week's The Apprentice.

The behaviour of the women was appalling. All that arguing and talking over each other in the boardroom - I almost switched over, it was so hard to watch these banshees.

No wonder Karren Brady had to give them a talking to about how they should be an example to young women.

And that was quite apart from their ridiculous management speak, with Melissa going on about 'built-in end users' and 'applicability specifically', as well as making up complicated words like 'comfortability'. I think you mean comfort.

Thank goodness for Stella, who put in a stellar performance and knocked the men into shape.

And thank goodness for the women leading the way on Strictly Come Dancing.

It's fabulous - and very rare - to see two women hosting a primetime programme together, so well done Claudia Winkleman and Tess Daly with their Sunday night results show.

And it's great to see funny females with strong personalities, who aren't afraid to speak their minds, doing so well on the dancefloor.

Sure, Matt and Scott are good dancers, but it's Pamela Stephenson, Felicity Kendal, Patsy Kensit - and, of course, Ann Widdecombe - who I really want to watch.

I'm glad they're going a long way to redeeming our sex.

Michelle Keegan has revealed her girl crush is curvaceous star Jennifer Lopez.

The Coronation Street actress, who regularly bags awards for her own sexiness, joked that the US singer is her "ideal woman".

She said: "I've got a bit of a girl crush on J-Lo. She's turned 40 and looks so good for her age - she's definitely my ideal woman."

Michelle confessed that she feels at her most attractive when she's looking natural: "I think I'm most sexy when I'm not glammed up."

Apprentice boss Lord Sugar branded TV property expert Kirstie Allsop "a lying cow" in an astonishing online row yesterday.

The 62-year-old business guru hit back after the star of Location, Location, Location, who took part in his charity spin-off series Sport Relief Does The Apprentice in 2008, branded him "shockingly uncharitable".

She wrote on Twitter: "Being asked whether I follow Alan Sugar. I worked with him on Sport Relief does The Apprentice.

"His behaviour was shockingly uncharitable.

"There are words I don't use, but when it comes to Sugar and his treatment of the staff and crew involved, in any other workplace he'd be fired."

Furious Labour supporter Lord Sugar hit back by calling mum-of-two Kirstie - who advises the Conservatives on housing - "the worst contestant in Celeb Apprentice ever".

He tweeted: "Bloody cheek Kirstie Allsopp who was in celeb apprentice claims I was uncharitable. Lying cow, she was useless.

"Kirstie Allsopp was worst contestant in celeb apprentice ever, having hissy fits all time. Very rude... More lies from Kirstie Allsopp. She said I was hard on and rude to production people in celeb apprentice.

"You are liar. Don't tweet lies about me.... By the way you were the worst celeb ever in celeb apprentice.

He added: "She tweeted some lies the other day about me. The Tories are welcome to her..."

Well done Louis, you've done it again. Last year you inflicted Jedward on us, now this year your joke act is a bonkers Brazilian singer called Wagner.

How on earth did he manage to make it through to the finals of The X Factor? It's ridiculous!

Mind you, he has quite a few advantages over Jedward. He can hold a note, he's rather endearing, the voiceover bloke loves booming out WAGNER!! - and let's not forget, he's from Dudley.

In a normal year, we Midlanders would probably be pinning all our hopes on him. Last year we had no one to root for. But this year we're taking over the show.

I'm still not at all sure about Cher from Malvern, but I love Treyc Cohen from Tamworth. It's only right she's in the finals - she should have been Cheryl's first choice, certainly beating weird Katie - and she put in a barnstorming performance tonight.

We also have lovely Liam Payne from Wolverhampton, the best singer in new boy band One Direction.

So there's plenty of Midland talent to vote for and let's hope they stay in the contest for a while.

We're doing a lot better than Scotland, for a change. Louis is desperate for the Scottish vote as the only way of keeping drama queen Storm in, even though he's really not that Scottish at all. The Scottish vote, remember, was responsible for The McDonald Brothers, Michelle McManus and Leon Jackson, so we must all try to stop them keeping acts in which should clearly go out in early rounds.

It was a great first live show, full of diversity and divas. The whole wild card thing was horrible contrived though, even down to the 'surprise' visits of the judges to their houses.

Yeah right, no one had told them to be in for the camera crew. I'm sure Diva Fever just happened to be hanging out in the same house when Simon dropped by.

Can't wait to see who goes out tomorrow, but it's great to know that, even after a double elimination, there will still be Midland contenders going through to next week. And one of them had better be Treyc, whose only fault is the silly way she spells her name.

So, the Apprentice started this week.

The usual crop of vain, deluded, dim-witted and frankly vile yuppie wannabes came lording it on the telly telling us how they were 'brands' and that the first words out of their mouths were 'Money not Mummy', 'I don't do failure'.

Blah, blah, blah, blah....

And what did they do? Failed - miserably.

Why? because they are so self-obsessed and lacking in personal skills that they cannot work as a team.

The task of making, marketing and selling sausages may aswell have been a project to create a Nuclear Warhead.

It was beyond them.

It was also genius television - roll on next week.

Carry On Camping it up, Lord Sugar - because The Apprentice kicked off with a real British farce.

The first episode was so packed with double entrendres that I half expected Nick Hewer to say 'Ooer Matron'.

Some were blatant, like the female candidate who waved a pink thing about as she cried: "That's a lovely sausage!"

But everyone was at it, saying "Would you like some, madam?", "Have you seen the size of it?" and "It's too hard!". Plus all the smirk-filled comments about bangers.

None of the men wanted to mince, but then they were far too macho. Testosterone levels were sky high on the Synergy team, especially from frighteningly aggressive Dan.

I love it that the candidates still come out with ridiculous lines, like "My first word wasn't Mummy, it was money!". And this was from a surgeon.
No wonder the NHS is in a state, when our doctors keep opting out to go on reality shows - first MasterChef and now The Apprentice.

I just can't understand why, if these candidates are as successful as they say they are, they want to jack it all in to work for someone else.

"I'm not a cliche" declared Stuart "Baggs the Brand", who is exactly that. I'd pack your suitcase next time you're in the boardroom mate, because you'll be going home.