June 2010 Archives

Those snobs who complain that Big Brother is a downmarket, cheap series with no redeeming features should have tuned in to tonight's show.

All human life was there. It was fascinating to watch the housemates go through so many emotions - in the case of Shabby, about 10 in the space of a minute.

I'll rather miss her when she goes on Friday, because she will go. She's a self-indulgent drama queen who threw a temper tantrum over a hat. A hat! You'd have thought the world was ending. Admittedly her hair looks pretty terrible without it, but it's just a hat, love.

Heaven knows how angry she would get if Big Brother took away her black eye liner.

I'm fed up of housemates marching into the Diary Room at the first sign of trouble and demanding to leave. They clearly don't mean it, they just want an attention-seeking moan. Big Brother should call their bluff and say 'Right, out you go, the door's open'.

Josie showed insight and sweet Corin offered to give her beer to someone in greater need.

Meanwhile Caoimhe showed huge insincerity when she pretended she really didn't mind being up for eviction. No, not at all. Honestly. And I'm really not fed up with you Dave. No, not at all.

BB can be annoying and frustrating, but this is heigtened human interaction and I love watching it. Oh, and we got to see the nominated housemates in those oh-so-unflattering tight shiny red outfits for no reason other than it's amusing.

I've complained about previous BB series when they were dull, but Big Brother really is going out with a bang. I might even miss it next year.

For a while there, I was getting a bit worried about Top Gear.

Jeremy Clarkson introduced the new series by saying they were going to be sensible, then by wittering on about a £163,000 car.
Sorry, but I'm never going to own such an obscenely-priced Bentley, so I don't give a fig about its anti-roll bars and grip.

Fortunately, sanity then prevailed. Or rather, it didn't, as we returned to the sort of silly challenges Top Gear is famous for and the reason I tune in.

"As far as I can make out, no one has ever driven right up to the mouth of an active volcano," said James May, sporting a new haircut. Umm, there's probably a reason for that.

But, undeterred, he drove his Toyota through a blizzard that had already killed two people, then got pretty close to the impressively exploding volcano. He managed to scoop up lava using a garden trowel. "God, that's hot" was his scientific analysis before the tyres caught fire.

Welcome back, boys! Not that all the items work, though. I don't understand why they had to destroy the Reasonably Priced Car, saying "we're not allowed to sell it". Is this some daft Beeb health and safety rule? Because I'm sure, given all the celebs who have driven it, that it could have raised quite a bit of money for charity if they'd sold it.

Louie Spence chatting up Richard Hammond was quite amusing, and I laughed out loud the first time that Jeremy flipped over his Robin Reliant.

But after he'd rolled over about 10 times in the Tamworth-made car, I got a bit bored. Surely they didn't crash quite so often?

Still, their return proved that geeks rule TV. The first episode of the new series of The IT Crowd, with Moss playing dungeons and dragons, was absolutely brilliant.

World Cup, what World Cup? Let's cheer on our boys that have real talent.

Keeley Hawes doesn't feel she could fill Angelina Jolie's shoes by playing Lara Croft in the new Tomb Raider movie.

The Ashes To Ashes star voices the sexy action-seeking archaeologist in the video games and it has been reported that Angelina, who starred in the first two movie spin-offs, will not be involved in the third film currently in the pipeline.

Keeley said: "No, uh, no I really wouldn't want to step into Angelina's shoes. I don't think I could fill them... no, I wouldn't want to. I think she was brilliant and it's a great shame that she's not coming back."

Pamela Anderson has admitted she is hoping for the chance to dance when she returns to UK panto later this year.

The actress and model has signed up to play the genie in a production of Aladdin in Liverpool, after playing the role in Wimbledon last year.

The 42-year-old said dancing on stage last year had given her the courage to go on Dancing With The Stars, America's version of Strictly Come Dancing.

Speaking on Channel 4's Alan Carr Chatty Man, she said: "I hope they throw some dancing in this time. I mean, we had a little dancing last time - I think that's what encouraged me, or gave me some nerve to do Dancing With The Stars, because I had so much fun on stage."

When I watch Big Brother, I feel rather ashamed of my fellow females.

The girls, with a couple of notable exceptions, are really letting the side down in the house.

It's no surprise that three women are up for eviction tonight - and there are reasons for getting rid of all of them.

I've already blogged about the unwise use of nicknames, and, lo and behold, Sunshine and Shabby are the first to be nominated.

Both have been highly annoying in the house. Sunshine doesn't live up to her nickname at all, as she's been moaning away. Shabby, on the other hand, has been treating people rather Shabbily.

Both girls had rows with Ben in which I felt really sorry for him. He unintentionally upset them, but was quick to apologise when he realised what he'd done. Yet, in the words of that great philosopher Vic Reeves, they wouldn't let it lie.

They both badgered the poor guy to death, going on and on about what he'd done wrong. How many more times could he say he was sorry?

Rachael also has her faults, although I do think John James has been particularly unkind to her.

Thank goodness for Josie, who is sweet and very funny, even when she doesn't mean to be - such as when vomiting into a bucket at the end of the eating task.

I love her! I kind of want her to get something going with JJ, but then I also think she's too good for him and his temper.
What some fellow housemates call his honesty, I call his rudeness. Like telling Josie he liked her but adding that he doesn't usually go for stunners! What a great chat up line, mate, that'll make her feel great about herself.

Regular followers of this blog - all two of you - will know my thoughts on the World Cup by now.

But it's not just the football which is dominating our TV screens, to the detriment of any decent programmes.

If you don't like Wimbledon or Big Brother, you might as well put your head under the duvet and snooze for the next fortnight. Or even, shockingly, switch off the TV.

A radical thought, admittedly, but there really isn't much point switching it on, unless you want to watch repeats.

Take next Wednesday night at 8pm. ITV1 has the World Cup. BBC2 has Today at Wimbledon. Channel 4 has a repeat of a Come Dine With Me WAGs special (which was funny, but I've already seen it, thanks). BBC1 has a repeat of The Inspector Lynley Mysteries while Five has a repeat of a documentary about Mary Magdalene which sounds less than thrilling.

Come on, what kind of choice is that?!

ITV1 obviously realises it's not offering us anything decent, so it is trailering the new drama it's got coming up....in the autumn. That's almost three months away! I want to watch something good tonight, not in September.

We're used to rubbish being shoved at us in August, but surely June viewing should be better than this.

It's been a big night for James Corden. He gets to host his first live post-World Cup chat show, and he stars in Doctor Who. It doesn't get much better than that on telly.

Personally, because I'm really not interested in footy, the Doctor Who episode was far more exciting.

He was great as the Doctor's temporary flatmate, as the Time Lord tried to act like a normal person for a few days, even playing football for his local pub.
Which was really just an excuse for Matt Smith, who played at youth level with Northampton Town, Nottingham Forest and Leicester City, to show off his ball skills.

It was a good, funny episode, though I couldn't help thinking they'd stolen the plot from Coronation Street. Didn't Tracy Barlow go upstairs once to do her homework and not come down again for years? If only her brain had been frazzled by aliens, it could have saved the street a lot of heartache.

Give James Corden his due, he's a witty presenter too. He acts just like he's chatting to his mates down the pub, which works in these circumstances.

Getting A list guests like Katy Perry and Simon Cowell is a great coup. What a shame they didn't actually have anything interesting to say.
Abbey Clancy is just too Scouse and annoying, too.

Big Brother has always liked a good nickname. Over the years we've had Bubble, Kitten, Science, Spiral and Halfwit.

That's quite apart from the names we give them, of course, like Idiot, Bitch, Self-obsessed Cow and Neanderthal.

This year's housemates also have trouble in answering to their own names.

Shabby and Sunshine, I ask you. "Ooh, look at me, I've got a wacky name and everything!"

Even hunky-but-dim Aussie John James feels the need to have a moniker, telling housemates he hates being called JJ but then saying he would answer to the name.

Still, I'm rather enjoying this year's BB, so far. The return of the Tree/Chest of Drawers has been a very clever move, and BB seems to have plenty of surprises in store.

I'm just glad there's something else to watch apart from the flipping World Cup. Or 'that boring football thing', as it's called in my house.

Spelbound are worthy winners of Britain's Got Talent, though the top three was rather a shock.

As I said in a previous blog, I just don't understand the appeal of the drummer boy. He's a nice enough lad, but I can't see drumming as entertainment.

I'm amazed he managed to beat fantastic dog Chandi. Still, Spelbound were fantastic, even if they did look radioactively orange.

Maybe now they can learn to spell their name properly.

This is me with dancer Michael Flatley at his home in Los Angeles, next to his pride and joy - his 1968 Corvette Stingray.

Being flown to LA and hanging out with a celeb in his mansion (down the road from Tom Cruise, apparently) was pretty exciting.

Michael was a charming host and even served muffins.

He told me all about going on tour again with Lord of the Dance, his life with his wife Niamh and his three-year-old son, and what he spends his hard-earned money on.

What experience did he spend £30,000 on which lasted mere minutes?
Get the Sunday Mercury this weekend to find out!