April 2010 Archives

Philip Gleinster's Ashes To Ashes alter-ego Gene Hunt has topped a poll of TV characters people would like to see as Prime Minister.

Straight-talking 1980s cop Gene Hunt was the clear favourite with 43% of votes in a survey for virginmedia.com

Doctor Who's time-traveller was second, while Top Gear's mystery racing driver THE STIG was the third most popular TV character people would like to elect to 10 Downing Street.
Hard-drinking, hapless father and avid socialist Frank Gallagher of Channel 4 drama Shameless came a surprising fourth, while feisty Coronation Street siren and aspiring businesswoman Rosie Webster followed in fifth place.

It's annoying the way that TV producers jump on the bandwagon once they've found a hit format, lazily making loads of copycat shows.

Come Dine With Me has been a great success, so now we get the likes of Coach Trip, House Guest in the Sun, Four Weddings and Restaurant In Our Living Room...all featuring people pretending to get along while marking each other and being catty behind each other's backs.

Now comes yet along version of the same format, but with one major difference. Channel 4's Three In A Bed has the extra toe-curling element of making the participants criticise one another in front of each other.

It's a good twist, but one that's essentially flawed, rendering the competition completely unfair.

The idea is that three B&B owners stay in each other's guest houses and then pay what they think the visit is worth. They hand over the money in an envelope - I've no idea why, as there's no secrecy about it - then have to explain why they've only paid half the going rate.

But if you go last, and you've already slagged off a rival, you are at a disadvantage because they are bound to mark you down in revenge.

That's what happened last night to "fabulous" (his word) John, who understandably found it hard to cough up £250 (no, I haven't added a zero) for one night in a not-very-nice B&B by a stone circle. Especially as he didn't even have an ensuite bathroom.

Annoying vegetarian owner Andrew pretended to not mind this slight, but was clearly furious, because he nit-picked about everything in John's admittedly rather weird incense-filled B&B for naked gays seeking spiritual and sexual enlightenment in Bournemouth.

Surely there can't be many greater insults than describing a rug as a bathmat.

Not that John didn't have his foibles, proudly announcing his part-time job as an S&M sex worker. Describing how to get "a tsunami of multiple orgasms" from heavy breathing was rather risque content for 8pm, but then the watershed doesn't seem to apply to Channel 4 programmes these days.

Another problem with the show is the repetitive and rather dull narration from Stephen Mangan, who we know is a great comic actor. I'd like to see more Dave Lamb-style sarcasm.

But I'll definitely be tuning in to this show next week, it's compulsive viewing.

Jennifer Lopez is in talks to appear on Glee.

Now I am still to watch an episode of the show that has usually sane people foaming at the mouth with rabid excitement. One thing is for sure though, the inclusion of Jennifer Lopez could sway a few people!

The singer and actress, currently starring in romantic comedy The Back-Up Plan, has been discussing a guest role with RYAN MURPHY, the creator of the award-winning show.

"I sat down with Ryan Murphy and we talked about me doing something on Glee - we want to, we want to do it," she told US talk show host Ellen Degeneres.

"They have it all mapped out for the next like, eight episodes. So he's like let's wait and do it really right when you do come on," Jennifer added.

I'm probably going to risk the wrath of Roz Laws here but seriously how long must our living room's be abused with this turgid tosh?

What started out as a fresh idea and a mildy amusing search for talent has now run its cause and is quite frankly an embarassment to primetime ITV.

The whole show is so twee, scripted, egotistical and downright vomit inducing I just can't understand why the majority of people feel obligated to watch it and line Cowell's pockets.

Are we really becoming such a docile easily pleased nation that we accept gutter junk like this as entertainment.

Please, please let this be the last series.

PS - before you say 'if you don't like it you don't have to watch it' - Yes I do - I live with 4 women who revel in this piffle.

Take that Louis Walsh - Birmingham HAS got talent!

Louis was very rude about the city when he was here for X Factor, saying there would never be a winner from Brum.

But he must surely have changed his tune about Midland abilities after sitting in for an ill Simon Cowell on Britain's Got Talent.

The Birmingham auditions were full of great acts. While it wasn't quite a Su-Bo moment, it was still a marvellous surprise when such a mature voice came out of little Chloe Hickinbottom, who sang White Cliffs of Dover. Especially as the 10-year-old from Walsall had just been saying how she would spend her £100,000 prize money on jeggings from Primark. That would buy you about 50,000 pairs, then.

Birmingham also gave us the brilliant dancing dog Chandi, a whole lot better than a parrot refusing to eat mashed potato. Whatever gave the owner the idea that would be entertaining?

Most of the acts were better than the London ones, even strange-coloured Kevin Cruise. You're 33, really? And the rest! Proof if there ever was of the ageing effects of the sun.

OK, so we had a bonkers animal impressionist and a school chef/poet, and it's a shame about Paul 'The Burper' Hann. "Everyone loves a burp, don't they?" he said. Not yours, mate, they're repulsive.

Couldn't get as excited as the rest of the judges over drummer Kieron, though. Watching someone drum will never be entertaining in my book.

Sarah Jessica Parker has promised the Sex And The City girls won't have changed too much in the new movie.

The actress returns along with Kim Cattral, Kristin Davis and Cynthia Nixon as Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda in the sequel.

SJP said: "It just is an opportunity for the characters to be two years older, slightly wiser, maybe more curious about things that they didn't really think of before."

She added: "The dynamic hasn't changed that much. It's just that they're two years older in the sort of natural way humans mature. Or not."

Sex And The City 2 is released in May.

It's bad news that the Beeb has axed Survivors - especially as their excuse is so lame.

This is what a BBC spokeswoman said of the decision: "The BBC is committed to making a broad range of varied and ambitious drama, but in order to achieve this we do have to move on from some pieces in order to allow new work to come through. After two series, Survivors will not be returning."

How rubbish is that! And hypocritical.

If it were really true, the likes of Last of the Summer Wine would have been put out of its misery years ago, yet the 31st - yes, 31st!! - series is returning this year. Along with yet another series of My Family.

These shows have been allowed to drag on, yet a decent drama has been shelved after just two series to allow so-called new dramas to be made.

It's a blow to the Midland locations Survivors was filmed in, and annoying for fans. Now we'll never find out what the mysterious Landry was up to or where Max Beesley was flying off to in his plane.

Poor show, BBC, poor show!

Forget Ricky Gervais, the really clever one in the double act is Stephen Merchant.

While Ricky just wants the attention on him the whole time, Stephen is hilarious - as he proved on Graham Norton's chat show, by far the funniest thing on TV this week so far.

Graham knows how to get the most out of his guests, but the real skill comes in booking celebs who aren't afraid to talk rubbish and make fools of themselves.

So we had Christina Ricci - love, love, love her - discussing the perils of filming with monkeys and how she looks like a turtle in her Yearbook Photo.

Then we had Stephen, all 6ft 7in of him, attempting a cartwheel.

Now that's what I call entertainment!

It seems we can rely on nothing in the world of showbiz.

First lovely Mark Owen turns out to be a complete love rat. Then Lenny Henry and Dawn French, surely one of the strongest celebrity couples around, announce they are splitting after 25 years.

How sad. I'm no great fan of Lenny, I've never found him especially funny, and neither of them were particularly friendly or helpful when I've met them - but still, they really seemed to be a good team.

I'm just bracing myself for the next shock showbiz revelation. Will Adrian Chiles reveal he's a closet Wolves fan and not a Baggie at all? Will Anne Robinson start being nice to people? Will Bruce Forsyth actually retire? We can only hope.

"What a disappointment you've been," said little Amelia Pond/a multi-form monster to the Doctor during Matt Smith's first outing in the role.

Sorry, but I completely disagree! I loved this episode and thought Matt had a stonking debut.

He's funny, making the most of Steven Moffat's witty script, and great when he gets all masterful too.

He needs to improve his table manners - I can see children across the country spitting out their food because the Doctor did, and attempting to eat fish fingers with custard.
What sort of man doesn't like bacon, though? Still, he talks my kind of science with his "wibbly wobbly timey wimey".

He had great chemistry with his new sidekick.
The new Tardis has a swimming pool and library along with a typewriter and hot and cold taps.

All this and Patrick Moore too, what more could we want from this episode?

I didn't like everything, though. I'm not sure about the bow tie or the new opening titles and rejigged theme tune.

But I can't wait for the rest of the series. Those cracks in the universe sound a bit worrying, we really should get a plasterer in for that.