This is what we get instead of football? Shame on you, schedulers!

I have a huge bone to pick with the TV schedulers over tonight's programmes.
Was there a conspiracy to make sure non-football fans switched off in their droves?

It's bad enough that Coronation Street has been shoved from its normal Wednesday slot and moved to Thursdays to make way for boring old footy.

But tonight we didn't get any episodes either. And for what? Some silly match that doesn't even involve British teams!

So what did the other channels offer? BBC1 had a repeat of tired sitcom My Family. No thanks, I didn't find it very funny first time round.

Five had a repeat, too, about helicopters. Yeah, that's really going to appeal to females.

Channel 4 may have spotted a gap in the market, because it came up with How To Snare A Millionaire, which at least sounded interesting.

But what an appalling programme this turned out to be! I am amazed it ever reached the airwaves.
Some girl called Rebecca set out to find a herself a rich man, setting back the cause of feminism decades with her insistence that only a man with lots of cash would do for her. But she didn't want to fall in love, or even kiss her sugar daddies.

She did realise, after a few fake dates, that it was a two way street and the men might want something in return for all the money they spent on her.

No, really?

To make it even worse, she kept breaking into song!! The producer plainly thought "hang on, this show is really insubstantial and needs something else...I know, let's get her to sing little songs about being single".

Just painfully bad TV.

I did learn one thing, though. Apparently to snare a millionaire you need a ponytail. So that's where I've been going wrong...