May 2009 Archives

Oi, Suralan, noooo! I was sure Lorrraine was for the chop in tonight's Apprentice, but instead he went for lovely Howard instead.

Maybe I was the kiss of death, as during the programme I jotted down 'Howard's a dark horse who could win it'.

Well, clearly not, now. But I think Suralan was wrong in not supporting Derby's blue-eyed boy.

And I wish he would make up his mind. Last week he told them off for taking a punt on the rocking horse as it was too risky, then he criticises Howard for not taking enough risks.

Tonight's show was full of the apprentices paying each other 'compliments' in the most derogatory way.

Lorraine told Kate "We all know you're very good," in the most patronising way.

Later Kate got her own back with "Doesn't she look lovely?" about Lorraine wearing the hideous leafy jacket.

Then there was Yasmina on Debra: "I would employ her, but only in an organisation where you have to be harsh and not friends with anyone."

My favourite, James, was fantastic comedy value again, from his "you can get polyester that's man-made?" comment to his awful rhyming while shopping channel presenting - "stop spying (eh?) and start buying!".

And this week's "I feel...." line from James? "I feel like Hugh Hefner." Umm, not quite. Have you seen Lorraine?

Sorry, but I just can't see what all the fuss is about.

Susan Boyle's first appearance on Britain's Got Talent was incredible, because the voice that came out of her just didn't go with the way she looked.

But now we know what to expect, is she really such an amazing singer? I don't think so.

When she came on tonight's live semi-final, she started with a quavering voice that seemed a little out of tune.
True, she got better, and given the rest of the contestants in her round, she deserved to go through. Even if she is a bit weird.

The real stars of the night, the most worthy winners who worked hardest to be entertaining, were Diversity and I really hope they do well.

I hate to say it but smug Simon was mostly on the money tonight (except when he looked like a dirty old man, perving at the belly dancer).
He was right when he said the violinist wasn't likable, and in his opposition to the revolting Nick Hell. But why did it take Piers so long to realise what a disgusting act it was? He and Amanda must have fought hard to get him a place in the semi-final, which could have gone to someone with genuine talent.

Darth Jackson shouldn't have unmasked himself. As the asthmatic Dark Lord, he still had some enigma, but when he took the helmet off he looked every inch a completely unmenacing Brummie postal worker.

I'm just watching Friday Night with Jonathan Ross, with Scott Maslen on the sofa.

Is it just me, or is the EastEnder looking rather unlike soap's sexiest male?

I've met Scott (back in the days when, in his words, he 'done' The Bill), and I can attest that he's a good-looking bloke.

But now all I can think is that his ears are sticking out far too much.

Maybe it's new shorter hair, maybe it's the camera angle, but he's just not looking as gorgeous as usual. Shame!

It's been a while since I've cheered during The Apprentice, but I gave a 'yay!' when Ben was finally fired tonight.

The arrogant, over-confident Ulsterman has been so annoying for weeks. I was worried he was going to be saved over James, who I'm liking more and more.

I do like a man who's in touch with his feelings, and James is always telling us how he feels, though we have yet to beat "I feel as hurt as I did when my cat died".

Tonight, after losing the task, we had: "I feel like my football team's lost and I've been dumped."

Aahh, bless! Though it should be noted his impression of a woman in labour was frankly disturbing.

Cannock Kate goes from strength to strength, though I have to say their reward was a bit rubbish, having a picture drawn of you that makes you look awful.

One last thing. They've mixed up the teams so much, how on earth can they tell who's Ignite and who's Empire now?

Robert Pattinson fans - and I know there are lots of you out there - will no doubt get very excited by this, the first glimpse of what the Twilight sequel will look like.

The Twilight Saga: New Moon doesn't open until November, but here's the poster, hot off the presses. Doesn't Robert look lovely?!

Congratulations to Jade and Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber for bringing some national pride back to the UK during Eurovision.

We actually came fifth! No more nul points for us. At one point we were second. Amazing!

And it was actually quite a fun show to watch, even if it did seem to go on for days. I liked Graham Norton's commentary, slightly more affectionate than Terry Wogan's but still as sarcastic when necessary.

Of course there was still lots of political voting, like Cyprus giving top marks to Greece and all the Balkan states voting for each other, but it wasn't nearly as bad as usual.

I think we should take note of who didn't vote for us though. Let's not go to Switzerland, Belgium, Iceland or Finland on our holidays, and instead all head for lovely Greece, who gave us 12 points.

I don't think I'd have gone for Norway to win. Personally, I liked Ukraine, but that might be more to do with the revealingly short armour sported by the fit Roman (why?) backing dancers.

I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know....(repeat 10 times)....deep breath....that Shaun Smith is going to be a star.

This 17-year-old from Lichfield was the revelation (apart from the weird waiter who sang in a very high voice) on tonight's Britain's Got Talent.

We knew he was the best act, because he came right at the end. Maybe it's time to vary the predictable format, eh?

Shaun was great performing Ain't No Sunshine, and as Simon Cowell said, he's like a good-looking Mick Hucknall with more personality.

There's what looks like a birthmark on his cheek, which resembles a lipstick stain. I reckon he could have quite a few girls wanting to kiss him after tonight and leave their own mark on him.

Go on, lad, do it for the Midlands!

If you missed him, here's Shaun's appearance.

So, are they or aren't they? Philip and Kate on The Apprentice, I mean.

We saw the evidence that something was clearly going on in the house and Philip confessed on You're Fired that his attraction to Kate distracted him in the task: "I admit I was like a puppy dog and I blew it."

But why didn't Adrian Chiles push him further on their relationship? They're reported to still be together, but Adrian didn't ask him if they were. Tut tut, Adrian, you know I'm a big fan but your journalistic skills let you down tonight.

We wanted to know more about their affair and how Philip felt when Kate turned on him in the boardroom.

His You're Fired show is still required viewing for any Apprentice fan, as it's even more entertaining than the actual show. Ruby Wax was on good form tonight with her analysis as she rooted for Lorraine, the thorn between the two beautiful roses in the boardroom.

I still think Cannock Kate has a great chance of winning the whole thing. Of course, Margaret and especially Nick remain the real stars of the show. Nick's dry comments are brilliant. He was the only one able to silence big-head Phil (who sealed his fate when he rudely interrupted Suralan) with the dreaded words "tell us about Pants Man".

As you so rightly pointed out, Phil, that will be your embarrassing legacy. Not that he'll be losing any sleep over it, as he's certainly not short on self-confidence.