April 2009 Archives

NOORUL is hopeless, so I'm not surprised he was fired on tonight's Apprentice, but Ben should have gone for being so annoying.

I wish he would just SHUT UP about his blasted Sandhurst scholarship, which he never even took up.

He waffled on about working best under pressure, under "heavy gunfire and explosions going off around me".

Gosh, how bad did he think the boardroom battle was going to be? And since when has he come under heavy gunfire, anyway?

Suralan was on top form, especially standing up for Nick when Debra was so rude to him.

"I cannot put up with someone with a mouth like yours," he told her.

A bit harsh, though, she only needed some balm for those cracked lips.

LAST year, while reviewing her first film, I wrote that I thought Miley Cyrus was a better role model than Britney Spears.

I take that back. Now Britney has cleaned up her act and trying to be a good mum, she's proving to be a much more pleasant person than Miss Cyrus, judging from the 16-year-old's appearance on Friday Night With Jonathan Ross.

At first, gum-chewing Miley came across as merely over-confident as she blew her own trumpet, telling everyone how she had her fourth number one record. That soon turned into a rude spoilt brat, as she called Helen Mirren "her".

When Jonathan replied "Come on, she's in the room, she's not the cat's mother!", Miley was having none of it.

"This is all about me, this is my press time, let's talk about MY movie!" she yelled.

Then she just started shouting and brow-beating Jonathan into plugging her movie.

"You're like a sort of charming assassin, aren't you? You are the scariest person!" he said. Umm, less of the charming, I think.

Later, when the cameras cut to the other guests in the green room politely listening to Helen MIrren, she was ignoring everyone else while she texted on her phone. After all, her moment in the spotlight was over, so why bother with anyone else?

I don't think she used to be quite this bad, but global fame has changed her and created a monster.

Miley, you may be a talented girl, but have a little respect for your elders and betters.

CLOSE up, he's really scary.

When Sylar gives you that brooding stare, with those piercing dark eyes flanked by the most distinctive eyebrows on TV, it's really quite something.

You can almost feel him starting to cut your forehead open....

I met the Heroes star today, although Zachary Quinto actually had another hat (or should that be pair of pointy ears?) on, as the new Spock.

He is excellent in JJ Abrams' reinvention of the classic sci-fi drama, which takes us back to the point when Spock and Kirk first met, in the Star Fleet Academy.

I really enjoyed the film, which manages to remain faithful to the original concept, with a funny and smart script, while adding stunning 21st century effects.

Simon Pegg doesn't appear for ages but is very funny as Scotty, if a little too Scottish.

Look out for my full review in a couple of weeks, as well as more details about the film and what its stars had to say when I met them.

But for now, I hope all Trekkers live long and...well, you know the drill.

THREE down, only two to go....Suralan has really got it in for the Midland candidates in The Apprentice, hasn't he?

It was a travesty that curly-haired, bubbly Paula Jones from Walsall was sacked tonight.

True, she made a rather huge mistake with her sums, but I liked her. Unlike awful Ben "I won a scholarship to Sandhurst but didn't go", who's a bullying thug.

As for Noorul, he's just hopeless.

Now our regional hopes lie with Derby's Howard and Kate from Staffordshire. Let's hope Suralan doesn't get rid of one of them next week, otherwise we'll start to take it personally.

HELL'S bells, what's going on in Hell's Kitchen?

There's so much to talk about, from Claudia Winkleman's piggy eyes to Marco Pierre White's ridiculous sandwich psychology.

I'm a big fan of Claudia's, but I was taken aback by the way she looked. Forgetting her trademark smokey eye liner was a bad move, as was overdoing it on the fake tan, and I wish she'd get her fringe sorted.

She also looks too thin, like she could do with a good meal. Obviously not at Hell's Kitchen, though, as she could be waiting a long time.

Adrian Edmondson had obviously not seen the show, as he was far too smiley to start with, saying "I don't see why we can't have fun in the kitchen". That smile disappeared when he met Marco and burned his hand.

I've taken against smug Grant Bovey already. Mr Anthea Turner talks about himself in the third person and loves being teacher's pet and sucking up to Marco.

Aaah, Marco. What an idiot he is. "I'm a revolutionary," he declared. No you're not, you're a nasty, grumpy old man.

He's become a pantomime villain, looking menacing as he brandishes a knife (though the effect is diluted by the ridiculous scarf on his head) and shouting "I want my asparagus!".

"I haven't got the time or the patience at my age to tolerate fools," he declared. Couldn't agree more, which is why I find you so annoying.

AFTER a highly disappointing start, Easter TV is actually rather cracking.

Good Friday was Rubbish Friday, though. What were they thinking of, giving us endless golf and repeats of Doc Martin?

But roll on Saturday, and the good stuff finally arrived.

Doctor Who was a really eggciting (sorry) treat, with some fabulous co-stars. The Doctor really met his match in Lady Christina de Souza and I loved him being bossed about by a posh Michelle Ryan. The chemistry between them fizzed, so what a shame she flew off in the London bus.

Let's hope we might see more of mad Welsh scientist Malcolm, played by Lee Evans on top form, even if he seemed to be channelling Rob Brydon from Gavin & Stacey.

Over on ITV1, Britain's Got Talent still has the power to surprise and amaze. The father and son Greek/Irish dancers, the Scottish woman with terrible hair and eyebrows but an amazing voice, and as for the stripper...well, she just left everyone speechless.

One point, though, about the judges. Amanda Holden wears some lovely frocks and even Piers Morgan puts on a jacket, but Simon Cowell continues to show up in the same old boring dirty grey T-shirts. Come on, make an effort!

HAVE you recovered yet from last night's emotional EastEnders?

How cruel life is in Albert Square! Just as mother and daughter were reunited, they were cruelly torn apart when Danielle was run over.

She died in Ronnie's arms, after uttering a plaintive "Mum!".

Well done to Brummie actress Lauren Crace for those final scenes, in which Danielle finally stood up for herself and told the world who she was. Shame she didn't do it months earlier.

I bet this isn't the last we've seen of this talented young actress, who struck me as intelligent, friendly and articulate when I interviewed her - a world away from timid Danielle!

Just one thing, though. How rubbish are Walford drivers? People are forever getting knocked over while standing in the middle of the road. A foolish place to be, certainly, but they're usually in full view of motorists, who ought to have time to stop.

Yet Tiffany and Jamie both died after being hit by cars. The tragic death toll even goes back as far as Nigel's wife Debbie.

So why haven't the road safety campaigners been out protesting, talking of the Square as a 'death trap' and demanding sleeping policemen bumps in the road?

Just how many people need to die before something is done?!

I like it when our soaps surprise us with storylines we don't see coming.

That seems to happen less and less, though. Usually we have to put up with plots which drag in interminably so that, when the 'reveal' finally happens, we're bored stiff. Though, I have to say, the Ronnie/Danielle denouement in EastEnders tomorrow promises to be a cracker.

Coronation Street is usually a little more subtle with its secrets, but there was some heavy-handed acted going on this week which completely gave the game away.

When Paula, Julie's mum and Eileen's childhood friend, was introduced to Eileen's father Colin, we only had to glimpse at her face to see something had gone on between them.

And as the identity of Julie's father - who got Paula pregnant at 14 - has yet to be revealed, it doesn't take much guesswork to deduce what happened.

The truth, when it finally emerges, will cause huge ructions in the Street, but it's a shame it won't come as a shock to most viewers.