March 2009 Archives

SO, it's one down and four to go.

I thought it was too good to be true, having so many Midlanders on this year's Apprentice.

Last year we had none, this time a third of the candidates are from the region.

But one of the five has gone already. Poor, glum Anita Shah, from Birmingham, was first to be fired.

I worried about our representatives when Walsall's Paula Jones was the first to say something stupid. "I wonder if you can clean people?" she mused.

Majid from Coventry wasn't much more intelligent. "It sounds like a coffee, man," was his response to the suggestion of Carpe Diem as the boys' team name.

It's a shame the girls fell out so quickly. When they were in the boardroom, it descended into a battle to put the blame on someone else - and I reckon Anita only went because she was too nice to do that.

As much as I warmed to her, especially on BBC2's You're Fired when she admitted she was a 'muppet', she was deluded with some of her comments.

She wondered whether, in 10 years time, Suralan will think he'd made the wrong decision. Sorry, love, but he won't remember you next week, let alone in 10 years.

I'm not sure what most of them do. What is Anita's job? She's a lawyer but now works as a "business strategist", whatever that is, using her "rainbow of skills".

At least I know what Philip does - he's an estate agent - but I can't understand half of what he says with his Geordie accent.
I think it was him, though, who came out with the catchy phrase "turnover is vanity, profit is sanity". Oh dear.

I went to the Birmingham Hippodrome last night, to the filming of Michael McIntyre's new Comedy Roadshow, which will be screened on Saturday nights on BBC1 in the middle of April.

Then this morning I met the man himself - and almost saw more of him than either of us bargained for.

I arrived at his very plush suite at the Hyatt Hotel before he was quite ready. In fact he was just zipping up his flies as I got there!

Having been out until 2am the night before, he was obviously a little worse for wear, hence his state of near-undress, but he was still entertaining company.

Unlike Sir Alan Sugar, who I met last week and was as grumpy and sarcastic as you might expect.

I had to sign a form to say I wouldn't reveal what he said, or too much about his TV show, until nearer the time it goes out.

I will say it's very funny, though, with lots of jokes about Birmingham and Brummies.

Michael is certainly a comic on the up, having had the biggest-selling DVD debut last year, but another name to look out for is Tom Stade.

This good-looking Canadian lives in Wolverhampton - I thought this was a joke but it turns out to be true, bizarrely - and almost stole the show with his brilliant jokes about Bilston and meat vans.

Keep reading the Sunday Mercury and checking back on the website to read the full interview with Michael.

Well done Ben Shephard for flying the flag - well, the sweatshirt - for Birmingham University.

He wore the Brum Uni item of clothing while climbing Mount Kilimanjaro for Comic Relief.

It was one of the more normal sartorial choices among the celebs who took part, who sported some dodgy outfits.

The BBC1 documentary tonight revealed Alesha Dixon's strange headgear, with her ear muffs, woolly hat and bright pink scarf. It's funny how she took such care over her appearance by putting on lipgloss and masacara, unlike the other female celebs who went make-up free, yet she still sported those items of clothing.

She wasn't the only one. Cheryl Cole's ridiculous oversized sunglasses made her look like a fly.

I was slightly confused by Gary Barlow's comment that he had to take "a short cut" because of his back problems. Hang on, if there's an easier route up the mountain, why don't they all take it? It seemed really hard without making it even more arduous.

Good on them for putting themselves through it, making it to the top and raising such a huge amount for Comic Relief.

They worked a bit harder than the celebs doing The Apprentice, although it was good to see them being set a challenge which wasn't just about who had the richest friends.

It was a shame they were both given real business people to guide them, as it's much funnier if they struggle alone.

Michelle Mone's row with Patsy Palmer really brought out the EastEnder's shrieking Bianca side as she screamed: "Don't ever speak to me like that!"

I reckon Gerald Ratner will be fired, mainly for being such a sore loser - he was so grumpy when the girls won, with their genius sticky suit invention, and refused to applaud them.

The best part of the programme was the fabulous face pulling by Nick and Margaret, not least when Gok Wan suggested taking Nick's clothes off. He probably does look good naked, but that's something I'd rather not see, thanks.