Celebrity? I barely remember you Big Brother

AFTER the brilliantly varied line-up of I'm A Celebrity, the non-entities taking part in Celebrity Big Brother seem a little dull.

True, Verne Troyer has great potential. But compared with Mr Sulu and a tennis legend, Coolio (a legend in his own head) and La Toya Jackson are pretty small fry.

But they've obviously cost the producers too much money, so the budget ran out by the time they got to Brits like Ben 'who?' Adams. I vaguely remembered his comedy fringe from his boyband days, but I couldn't have picked him out of a line-up.
"I don't tend to do the celebrity circuit," he confided. That would be because you're not a celeb, mate.

I'm looking forward to it kicking off between mouthy Scouser Tina and mouthy Mutya, who says "I'm actually quite laid-back and quiet". Yeah, right. Even her eyebrows are scary.

Ulrika Johnsson just has no shame, has she? She'll do anything to get back into the limelight and clearly being one of the first to get booted off Dancing On Ice has taught her nothing.

We now know that Lucy Pinder, as well as having the best natural boobs in Britain, is scared of clowns and wants to hold a monkey. Step forward Verne. Well, he did say he played a gorilla in a film...

And talking of gorillas, wasn't Davina wearing that awful coat from an endangered species that Pete Burns had confiscated in 2006?