January 2009 Archives

Oh Kate Winslet, I used to like you. And I still reckon you're a great actress, but did you have to make quite such a fool of yourself at the Golden Globes? You made Gwyneth Paltrow look together.

It must have crossed your mind that you might win Best Actress, even after waiting so long for a major award and failing to fulfill five Oscar nominations.

So you must have had an idea in your head what you were going to say. Standing there hyperventilating in the most theatrical fashion possible and repeating the word "gather" was really not the best move.

Neither was forgetting the names of your fellow nominees. Meryl, Anne, Kristin and "oh God, who's the other one?". That would be Angelina Jolie, only probably the world's most famous woman.

Your poor husband must have been delighted that you chose to thank Leonardo DiCaprio first, in such OTT style, before mentioning Sam Mendes as an afterthought.

Still, you looked nice, which is more than can be said for Maggie Gyllenhaal. What was she thinking?

SO, Matt Smith is the new Doctor Who.

I thought he was great in Party Animals, so I'm really looking forward to his portrayal of the Time Lord.

He may only be 26, but I think it's a bold move to give the role to the youngest-ever actor. I think he's got the intelligence and skills to play a 900-year-old.

And we can claim him as Midlander, sort of, as he's from Northampton.

Now we just have to wait a year to see him in the role, but at least we have lovely David Tennant in four new specials before then.

AFTER the brilliantly varied line-up of I'm A Celebrity, the non-entities taking part in Celebrity Big Brother seem a little dull.

True, Verne Troyer has great potential. But compared with Mr Sulu and a tennis legend, Coolio (a legend in his own head) and La Toya Jackson are pretty small fry.

But they've obviously cost the producers too much money, so the budget ran out by the time they got to Brits like Ben 'who?' Adams. I vaguely remembered his comedy fringe from his boyband days, but I couldn't have picked him out of a line-up.
"I don't tend to do the celebrity circuit," he confided. That would be because you're not a celeb, mate.

I'm looking forward to it kicking off between mouthy Scouser Tina and mouthy Mutya, who says "I'm actually quite laid-back and quiet". Yeah, right. Even her eyebrows are scary.

Ulrika Johnsson just has no shame, has she? She'll do anything to get back into the limelight and clearly being one of the first to get booted off Dancing On Ice has taught her nothing.

We now know that Lucy Pinder, as well as having the best natural boobs in Britain, is scared of clowns and wants to hold a monkey. Step forward Verne. Well, he did say he played a gorilla in a film...

And talking of gorillas, wasn't Davina wearing that awful coat from an endangered species that Pete Burns had confiscated in 2006?