Stop drooling, Tess!

LISA. No, Rachel. No....Tom. No, Lisa.

I really can't decide who I want to win Strictly Come Dancing, and the thought of having to choose is just too much.

It should make for a fantastic semi-final, which really should have been the final. We will have to lose one of these brilliant dancers next weekend, thanks to the cowardice and selfishness of John Sergeant and his publicity-seeking early exit.

He rated himself too highly in the eyes of the public by saying he could win it. The audience has so far kept the best dancers in - it was only right to see off bookies' favourite Austin Healey, as he didn't quite measure up in the dance-off - and I think we would have got rid of hopeless John by now.

At least Austin's departure saves Tess Daly from embarrassing herself any more as she gushes over his 'guns'. She just wouldn't shut up about his muscles and his chest. If it had been a male presenter leching over a female contestant, and telling her to lift up her skirt or take off her top, the already over-sensitive BBC would have gone into meltdown.

The audience got it right too on The X Factor (yes, I know I said I wouldn't watch it again, but I couldn't help it). Diana wasn't up to scratch either, with her whiney voice, annoying hand mannerisms, bare feet and hair calling out for a brush.

The next one to go will have to be Eoghan. By bursting into tears, he proved he's just not old enough to cope with the knocks of showbiz.

Alexandra has to win. Let's just hope sanity prevails and we don't have a repeat of last year's fiasco when Leon Jackson somehow beat Rhydian.