Biff baff boff vile David

WHO the hell is voting for David Van Day on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here?

He's the most selfish, rude, arrogant, stubborn, unreasonable and infuriating man ever to compete in a reality TV show. He makes Robert Kilroy-Silk look like a saint.

How has he lasted this long? It's completely baffling!

I want to biff baff boff Vile David (henceforth to be known as VDVD) into next week.

Well done Martina Navratilova, who I'd almost forgotten was in it, for taking a stand against VDVD.

At least annoying Timmy Mallett has been booted out. The look on his face when he lost the trial was brilliant. He's like a petulant toddler, giving Brian a Chinese Burn.

Over on BBC1, Strictly Come Dancing gave us a fabulous night's entertainment.
Len Goodman was quite right to describe Lisa Snowdon, my new favourite, as providing a "smorgasbord of gorgeousness".

He talks a lot of sense, unlike Craig. Well done for getting your hair cut, finally, but now he comes out with nonsense like "your head was too sympathetic" to Tom. Then he gave that lovely romantic waltz a seven - scandalous!

I think Austin wants to win a bit too much and is a little too cocky, but he will have won some votes and melted a few hearts by dancing round his kitchen with his adorable twin babies.