I've come such a long way for my dream and it means the world to me

I'M sure the producers of The X Factor have a checklist of phrases which must be uttered on each show.

They sit there ticking them off as the emotional contestants say "I want this more than anything,", "I've come such a long way," "This is my dream," and "It means the world to me" as sappy music plays in the background.

And no episode is complete until they've all been trotted out.
Yeah, yeah, we've heard it all before, time and again, and we're really bored now. It seems far more contrived than sincere these days.

Last weekend's programmes, in which the last 24 flew out to the judges' houses (or rented abodes, more like), were so repetitive and dull.

And what's with all the crying?!
Do you think they wafted onions under their noses? They were all awash with tears - well, everyone except Dannii was in floods.

"You saw yesterday I was totally moved by what you were singing," she told contestant Daniel Evans, the one whose wife died last year in childbirth.
Really, Dannii? I'm afraid there was no movement involved and we couldn't tell from your Botoxed, expressionless face what you were feeling.

You could tell she was trying desperately to be as touchy-feely as Cheryl, who was so laid-back she was lying on a bed when breaking the news to her group of girls. At least she appeared a bit more genuine.

Just how cruel was Louis when he told boy band JLS "It's not good news...." before adding "It's great news!".

I like Diana Vickers, but she badly needs to take a hairbrush to her unruly mop. Bet the stylists will have got the straighteners out by next week.

And talking of hair scares, well done James Jordan for getting a haircut on Strictly Come Dancing.
Now we just need Craig Revel-Horwood to cut off those annoying rats' tails which are curling beneath his collar.