RIGHT, that's it. I'm boycotting The X Factor out of principle after one of the worst-ever miscarriages on justice on TV.

It was bad enough when Rachel "far too nice" Rice won Big Brother (and promptly faded into complete obscurity, as she has no personality).

But that pales into insignificance compared with Laura White being booted off Saturday's show.

It's supposed to be a singing contest, yet the best singer has now gone.
The cries of people shouting "What? How did that happen?!" at their TV could be heard across the nation on Saturday night.

How my favourite, Laura, managed to get into the bottom two when the likes of Daniel and Rachel (who was horribly out of tune) remain is a mystery, but then to be dropped by Simon and Louis is scandalous.

I reckon Simon kept Spanish senorita Ruth in because he fancies her, while petty Louis wanted to get back at Laura's mentor Cheryl after she made a catty remark about Westlife. Plus, they both took the chance to get rid of one of the strongest competitors.

You should both be ashamed of yourselves!

Over on BBC1, another contender was forced to leave before her time when Heather Small was booted off Strictly Come Dancing.
It wasn't as big a shock as The X Factor bombshell, but it's annoying that she has to leave while John Sergeant remains.

He's been entertaining for eight weeks, but enough's enough. He can't dance - his pasa doble, when he dragged his poor partner across the floor like she was a sack of spuds, was a joke.
He's not getting any better but now he's taking the place of people who can dance and who are putting more effort into it.
Charm should only get you so far in a talent contest.

Another big shock last week was when hopeless Gavin won Natural Born Sellers, though at least there was no phone vote involved. After weeks of coming last, and repeatedly telling us he wasn't cut out for selling, he somehow managed to find a rich bloke in the last episode and got him to part with enough money so he could win.

It made a complete mockery of the ITV1 series' title.

I bet Danny, who was plainly the best salesman, is kicking himself after saving his rival four times from elimination because he felt sorry for him. I just hope Gavin gave him some of his £87,000 winnings.

I WENT to a gltizy TV awards bash on Saturday, and came away feeling rather depressed about the state of television in the Midlands.

The Royal Television Society Awards at Birmingham's Burlington Hotel were more subdued than usual.

There were very few stars in attendance. In previous years it's been hosted by the likes of Brian Conley and Dermot Murnaghan, but we had to settle for newsreaders Ashley Blake and Lucy Kite. Who did a good job, but are hardly A list celebs.

There were very few names presenting awards, either. In the past I've seen Nigel Havers, Lucy Davis, Timothy West, Sue Nicholls, Jack Dee, Noddy Holder and a host of other stars at the RTS do.

The best we had on Saturday was East Midlands Today's weatherman Des Coleman (pictured) who used to be in EastEnders and who insisted on singing.

He also lost the audience when he said: "I'd like to say how many beautiful women there are here tonight. Mind you, there are also some ugly ones...and you know who you are."

Charming!

So what of the awards? Great to see John Craven seeing off younger competition by taking Best Male Personality and Best Magazine Programme for Countryfile.

The Baird Medal, a kind of lifetime achievement award, went to Central TV's Bob Warman, but even that was low-key. Poor Bob is off sick at the moment with an ear infection so didn't attend, and the only tribute we got was one from Chris Tarrant (not delivered in person) with not a single joke in it.

Perhaps most depressing were the awards for Best Actress and Best Actor which weren't even contested, as the only drama being made in Birmingham these days is Doctors.
The gongs went to Diane Keen (wearing a daringly short dress) and Michael McKell, who's not even in it any more.

It's good news that Doctors is staying in Birmingham for another three years, which is about the only thing the region has managed to glean so far out of the BBC's promise to move 50 per cent of its production to areas outside London by 2016.

Oh, that and more gardening shows.

It's all well and good Birmingham being a centre for horticultural programmes, but giving us Chelsea and Hampton Court Flower Shows is hardly the same as a meaty drama, is it?

And while Doctors is a great show, it's not a great advert for Brum. It's set in fictional Leatherbridge and I bet the rest of the country don't realise it's made here.

Carry On Doctors, please, but let's also have more Midland-made drama.

SHAME on you, Harry Hill!

Harry used to be funny enough to entertain us without descending into smutty and crude humour, which doesn't become him.

Talking about budgies living in Dot's hair in EastEnders was lame, but then he conjured up a completely unnecessary image with "let's hope they don't migrate south for the winter".

And it was mean to say about Sian Lloyd's open-legged pose on Hole In The Wall: "If she'd done that a bit more often, her boyfriend wouldn't have left her for a Cheeky Girl."

I was rather disappointed by his opening salvo. A programme which usually has been laughing out loud all the way through only raised the occasional chuckle.

He's had weeks to watch TV and come up with some good lines, and the best he could manage on The X Factor, which is comedy central, was "Doesn't Dermot O'Leary hug a lot?".

This is a show where Dannii Minogue's hideous bright pink lipstick appears to change colour half-way through, and where Brian Friedman comes up with camp topless men on motorbikes and cheesy graphics of the world in someone's hands.

What is the point of him? As "creative director" he did nothing with Scott Bruton, though he pretended it was a brave decision: "We've stripped everything away, it's just him and a mic."

I love the bickering between the judges and Cheryl's catty comment:"Let's face it, Louis's never been good with girl bands".

Who's better, Cheryl or Louis? There's only one way to find out.....FIGHT!

JONATHAN Ross scoffed a huge tub of popcorn.

Vanessa Feltz, Bill Turnbull and Richard Blackwood were there too.

But that's not what you want to hear about the first screening worldwide of the new Bond film, is it?

So, is Quantum Of Solace worth seeing?

Absolutely.

Is it as good as Casino Royale?

No.

While enjoyable, I was left a little underwhelmed by Daniel Craig's second outing as 007.

I still love him in the role, but maybe our expectations have been raised so high that the follow-up was always going to disappoint.

It's 35 minutes shorter but has twice as much action packed into it. Some of the stunts are impressive, but the movie loses something in the frenetic pace.

Everything seems too rushed, including the plot which is as confusing as the title.

Still, there are some laugh-out-loud lines and a great, though sadly too brief, appearance by the very British actress Gemma Arterton.

Go see it when it opens on October 31, just don't expect your world to be shaken.
 
And see next week's Sunday Mercury for my full review.

You can see the trailer here...

SORRY to keep harping on about hair, but it's become a personal bug-bear as I watch TV.

Maybe Craig Revel-Horwood has been reading my blog and my complaints about his long locks, because last week he got out the shears and attacked his unruly mop.

Hurray! But wait - the Strictly Come Dancing judge has only done half the job! It's shorter and more stylish on top, but he's left those annoying wispy bits curling round his collar. I can't watch him without the urge to grab some scissors and cut them off.

Maybe, like Samson, his evil power lies in his hair, because since he had his (half) cut he's become surprisingly nice. He seemed to leave his acid tongue behind on Saturday and praised the contestants far more than grumpy Len.

Perhaps he's worried that if he cuts all his locks off, he'll end up hugging the dancers and crying.

Meanwhile, on a film note, I'm off to London tonight to see the first screening worldwide of the new Bond film.

I'm still unsure about the odd, meaningless title, but Quantum Of Solace is growing on me.

I'm a big fan of Daniel Craig in the role, so here's hoping he doesn't disappoint in his second outing as 007.
I'll let you know what I think of the movie tomorrow.

I just won't be able to watch The X Factor with a straight face again.

Peter Kay's Britain's Got The Pop Factor And Possibly A New Celebrity Jesus Christ Soapstar Superstar Strictly On Ice was a brilliant satire of talent shows - and sometimes very near the knuckle.

We know the judges really like to play up the contestants' sob stories, so I could just imagine them saying, like Pete Waterman did last night: "We like your voice but your story just isn't sad enough."
Fortunately for R Wayne, his grandmother (R Gran) chose an opportune moment to keel over, so they could milk her death for all it was worth.

I'll be very disappointed now if we don't get a drum 'n' bass or TV theme tune week on X Factor, especially if they got Paul McCartney in to sing the Home & Away music.

What blurs the line between spoof and reality even more is that you can now actually buy the "winner's" song recorded by Geraldine, aka Gerald, aka Peter Kay.

When Saturday's results show of The X Factor had such ridiculously camp moments as Dermot O'Leary portentously declaring, with dramatic music and lights, that "we're in deadlock", it's now hard to tell what's real TV and what's not.
He was far funnier than anything Cat Deeley could say on Britain's Got The Pop Factor - she was the show's one weak link. Just don't give up the day job, love.

I for one am now really looking forward to Celebrity Fiddler On The Roof In The Jungle. What do you mean, it's not real? And what's that, Todd Carty isn't really an ice-skating Jesus? Shame!

IT'S probably the most-asked question in history.

But we need not ponder the eternal quandary any longer, because Stephen Fry has kindly come up with a definitive answer.

And not while hosting QI, but while guesting as a team captain on the pop quiz Never Mind The Buzzcocks, of all places.

When asked by Simon Amstell "is there a God?", Stephen replied "No darling, no". So there you have it.

Stephen is taking over TV at the moment. On Sunday his new BBC1 series travelling around America starts, which he's happily been promoting by posing with cheerleaders. He's clearly up for anything, which is why he was such an inspired choice for Buzzcocks, discussing those "hippity hoppity" rappers.

And it's good to know that he's not brilliant at everything. We know he's ridiculously intelligent and an acclaimed writer, TV presenter, director and actor, but he hasn't got a musical bone in his body. Which made the intros round particularly amusing on Buzzcocks.

His exact opposite on the show was Frankie Sandford from S Club Juniors, who can sing but is as thick as custard.

"I haven't got most of the jokes tonight," she freely admitted. "Don't worry, it's not your fault," replied kindly Amstell.

A great show all round. More Fry please!

I'M sure the producers of The X Factor have a checklist of phrases which must be uttered on each show.

They sit there ticking them off as the emotional contestants say "I want this more than anything,", "I've come such a long way," "This is my dream," and "It means the world to me" as sappy music plays in the background.

And no episode is complete until they've all been trotted out.
Yeah, yeah, we've heard it all before, time and again, and we're really bored now. It seems far more contrived than sincere these days.

Last weekend's programmes, in which the last 24 flew out to the judges' houses (or rented abodes, more like), were so repetitive and dull.

And what's with all the crying?!
Do you think they wafted onions under their noses? They were all awash with tears - well, everyone except Dannii was in floods.

"You saw yesterday I was totally moved by what you were singing," she told contestant Daniel Evans, the one whose wife died last year in childbirth.
Really, Dannii? I'm afraid there was no movement involved and we couldn't tell from your Botoxed, expressionless face what you were feeling.

You could tell she was trying desperately to be as touchy-feely as Cheryl, who was so laid-back she was lying on a bed when breaking the news to her group of girls. At least she appeared a bit more genuine.

Just how cruel was Louis when he told boy band JLS "It's not good news...." before adding "It's great news!".

I like Diana Vickers, but she badly needs to take a hairbrush to her unruly mop. Bet the stylists will have got the straighteners out by next week.

And talking of hair scares, well done James Jordan for getting a haircut on Strictly Come Dancing.
Now we just need Craig Revel-Horwood to cut off those annoying rats' tails which are curling beneath his collar.

Sad to hear of Paul Newman's death today.

Here's a rare early screen test by Paul and James Dean.

Even back then you could see they'd be stars.

The screen test was for East of Eden in 1955.

Paul was testing for the role of Aron Trask, while Dean was testing for the role of Aron's older brother Cal Trask (even though Newman is older than Dean).

Dean won the part of Cal, while the role Newman was up for went to Richard Davalos.

I can barely contain my excitement at the return of Strictly Come Dancing, surely the best show on TV ever.

And this series is shaping up to be as brilliant as ever.

Though that doesn't mean I don't have criticisms, of course. What would the show be if we couldn't shout at the telly? Which I certainly did when lovely Phil Daniels and his infectious giggle was the first to get the boot. That proves what I was saying in my last blog about the inability of the viewing public to make the right decisions. How could they vote for hopeless chef Gary Rhodes to stay?

I think part of Phil's problem may have been the horrible dress that his partner Flavia was forced to wear.

With a sickly shade of yellow and far too many nylon frills, she looked like one of those crinoline ladies people put over toilet rolls.

But it wasn't as strange as the weird outfit sported by Camilla Dallerup. Maybe with two more couples competing, the wardrobe department has run out of fabric. Camilla's dress (?) was like three tiny outfits thrown together - a fringed belt for a skirt, an emerald shirt slashed in half and a bikini top that didn't even match the skirt. A nasty necklace completed the horrible mish-mash.

I worried that Gary Rhodes might have mistaken Karen Hardy, in her bizarre tin foil dress, as a turkey trussed up for the oven. And while male viewers might have been ogling Ola's shapely curves, I bet most female viewers thought she looked a sight in her skintight animal print shiny plastic catsuit.

The men on the show let the sartorial side down a bit as well - Craig Revel Horwood needs a haircut, while Ian Waite, James Jordan and Matt Cutler have gone overboard on the hairspray to keep their bouffant styles in check.

So what else can we complain about?
Bruce Forsyth. I know he's 80, but it's time he retired and gave someone else a go. "I'm not doddery!" he cried, then messed up the delivery of a joke and had to repeat it. Yes, you are. Sorry, but it's not so nice to see you again.