June 2008 Archives

FRONT line cops in the Midlands are being given health and safety tips on how to batter down doors.

The advice has bemused experienced police officers, who say the technique is simple: hit 'em as hard as you can.

But health and safety penpushers with West Midlands Police, who never go on raids, beg to differ.

They have drawn up a list of tips for the task, calling for cops to "deploy dynamic risk assessments and consider the safety of themselves and others" before breaking down doors.

The health and safety guidelines also encourage officers to use arm guards, mitts, helmets, strong boots, protective vests, shin guards, thigh protectors and genital protective boxes ('for male users').

HEREFORD Art Gallery has strict rules for anyone hoping to exhibit their paintings.

"Frames often come with a hanging device to which cord can be attached," health and safety guidelines point out.

"It is a simple process to unclip and reverse these so that they project beyond the outer edge of the frame.

"Clip frames will not to be accepted as they create a health and safety hazard."

It follows controversy in Reading, where artists were told not use glass in their frames in case it fell out on people.

COUNCIL officials in Worcester warned a poultry auctioneer that he was facing formal action because his loud voice posed a health and safety risk.

When farmers meet to buy and sell animals, it is likely to be a noisy affair. And amid the farmyard noises, an auctioneer could be forgiven for having to raise his voice to find the highest bidder.

But now David Probert, who has held auctions for 40 years, has been told to keep his voice down.

Grandad Mr Probert, who has received several letters from Worcester Health and Safety Executive, said:"I have been a respected auctioneer for 40 years and have never heard of anything so ridiculous.

"The letter said a complaint had been made about my auction and that I needed to fill in all these forms showing how much noise I made. Then they warned me of further action."

IN killer heels and little else, they have a deadly charm.

But the risque images of women that have decorated warplanes since the First World War have been scrubbed out.

The Ministry of Defence has decreed they could offend the RAF's female personnel.

Officials admitted they had no record of any complaints from the 5,400 women in the RAF.

But nose art on Harrier jump jet bombers in southern Afghanistan have been scrubbed out.

Nose art first appeared on warplanes during the First World War and enjoyed a golden age during the Second World War when thousands of American fighters and bombers were decorated with pictures of glamorous women.

AS doctors warn more patients that they should lose weight, the advice has backfired on one medic.

A woman has filed a complaint saying his remarks were hurtful.

Dr Terry Bennett says he tells obese patients their weight is bad for their health and their love lives, but the lecture drove one patient to complain.

"I told a fat woman she was obese," Bennett says.

"I tried to get her attention. I told her: 'You need to get on a programme, join a group of like-minded people and peel off the weight that is going to kill you.' "

Politically correct health chiefs demanded he write a letter of apology to the woman, and go on a training course.

A STORY based on the Three Little Pigs has been turned down by awards judges - because the subject matter could offend Muslims and builders.

The CD-Rom digital version of the traditional story of the three little pigs, called Three Little Cowboy Builders, is aimed at primary school children.

But judges at the Bett Award said that they had "concerns about the Asian community and the use of pigs raises cultural issues".

They also warned that the story might "alienate parts of the workforce (building trade)".

The judges criticised the stereotyping in the story of the unfortunate pigs: "Is it true that all builders are cowboys, builders get their work blown down, and builders are like pigs?

CHILDREN'S book author Lindsey Gardiner was asked to eliminate a fire-breathing dragon from her new book because publishers feared they could be sued under health and safety regulations.

Her publishing editors objected to a scene in one her books where a dragon toasted marshmallows by using the flames from its nose on the grounds that 'it looked dangerous and went against health and safety'.

Another of her novels, When Poppy and Max Grow Up, initially included a scene where a little boy climbed a ladder, but that, too, was changed.

"They didn't allow Max to be on a ladder because they thought it was precarious," she says. "But when I changed it, I had him standing on a pile of three paint cans, which is much more dangerous.

"They didn't have a problem with that!"

Welcome to the Sunday Mercury's new PC Plod blog.

We'll be watching out for PC nonsense worldwide, and bringing you the worst excesses perpetrated by the red tape brigade.

There's an entire industry out there, playing on our prejudices and fears.

And it's time we drew a line under the jobsworth crusade to make our lives a misery.

Let us know about examples you've come across, and we'll let the world know.

In a very un-PC manner, of course.