A state of mine

By Paul Flower on Sep 23, 11 08:26 AM

My mum has joined Facebook; no good can come of this. My daughter has already had to 'clean up' her wall to avoid potential embarrassment or awkward questions from her nan.

I only know about the 'clean up' as she told me, I wouldn't otherwise since I'm not allowed to be her Facebook friend. Using this principle - eldest child rejects parent - I could similarly ignore my mother's request. It speaks volumes that I wonder if she'd actually notice.

Mum got a laptop a few months back together with a couple of books about using the internet as a senior (I was forced to wonder if manuals about the internet would be the equivalent of cave paintings about space travel). She starts her library course on computing this week. In her pre-laptop days she frequently decried the concept of Facebook, wondering (often aloud) why everyone felt the need to share. Joining up is clearly my sister's doing indeed she freely admitted it in answer to my horrified text on the subject, ending hers with the acronym 'lol'.

Although sis is five years younger than me she's still too old to be using 'lol' and my mum is too old to be on Facebook. This provoked the thought that if there was an upper age-limit to Facebook would I still be eligible. How do you actually know when you're too old?

I suspect the general rule about being too old for something is when you don't understand the terminology, or feel somewhat uncomfortable with the circumstances or surroundings.

I occasionally have this feeling about clothes, questioning my clearly questionable fashion-sense with the thought that maybe I should always be in a suit and a comfortable cardie at weekends. A mate reckoned he'd read that the over-40's should never be seen in a hoodie, but I find mine quite comfortable and figure that I'm doing my bit for rehabilitating the item. After all, it's hardly threatening if I'm wearing it, or at least slightly less so.

Similarly my perennial 'Superdry' t-shirts, they probably are meant for younger people but I find the design and fit to be better than most other manufacturer so I'm being the brand acolyte that they probably never wanted or expected.

TV and music occupy a less obvious territory, though you can more easily identify when a programme is not aimed at you by the way that it's marketed if not the language and average age of the cast members. I have never seen an episode of Skins for some of those reasons; they don't want me as a viewer.

This was possibly also the reason I missed the first two series (or seasons if you prefer) of The Inbetweeners, only catching up when - possibly ironically - someone older than me recommended it on Facebook. Equally I'll know that I'm old when I start setting the PVR for Downton Abbey or its 2015 equivalent.

I can't decide if other programmes fit this pattern or if something has a more general appeal by virtue of being well-written. I read a critic claiming not to be able to identify with 'Outnumbered' which I find to be very acutely observed, possibly only because I can identify with having children in the house and the impact that they have. This sense of identity never extended to being able to view a single episode of 'My Family' though despite it being clearly aimed at the same demographic and being on the same channel. One is good and the other is shit, however old you are.

Would this also provide a point of difference between Little Britain and
Lee Nelson's Well Good Show? I may only know if I could stand to watch the latter, life's too short - particularly when you get to this age.

Media may have slightly better definitions of designed demographic appeal; social media meanwhile is open to all. Age I think is more a state of mind, but experience (gained by education and life) will occasionally let you know if you're out of place. I still haven't accepted my mum as a Facebook friend though, I may know when I'm in the wrong place but I can't be so certain about others.