Holiday in the sun

Those without school-age children may never know the ridiculous variance in holiday prices between term-times. Suffice to say it's a discovery your parents made some time ago, along with these........

Do not holiday in England. It is an intemperate island which water surrounds, also water falls upon it at regular intervals. There are sights to be seen but you will get wet, when you're not stuck in traffic jams that is.

Rare glimpse of mysterious bright object in the sky

Do not go to York in a thunderstorm. It's a marvellous place, but like all other places it is best viewed when dry.

Teenagers get bored of historical places very quickly, particularly when there's no internet access.

Stonehenge is expensive, there are many queues and you can't touch the stones. Avebury is nearby and is better, cheaper, less crowded - and you can touch the stones.

Do not go to the cinema on a Wednesday, when it's wet. You may have heard of Orange Wednesday's, but if you're not on Orange (like me) then you may have forgotten that they can cause the cinema to be somewhat crowded on a Wednesday, particularly when it's raining.

We didn't go on holiday. Instead we acquired two cats and a new TV. Sadly neither digital or HD are quite what they're made out to be - yet, or at least not in Coventry.

The cats have yet to decide whether they like each other, or us, but they do like to watch the dwarf hamster run around his cage. They also like to sleep, and eat and shit. In some respects they are like children but without the desire for constant access to the internet.