The philosophy of celebrity

Plato's point, contained in the story of Gyges who discovered a ring that enabled him to become invisible, was that if we all had such power we would all be unjust - it is only the morals of society and the influence of peers that keep us to the straight and narrow. I'm paraphrasing of course, mainly because I lack the ability to adequately explain the discourse in its entirety.

DeBotton's slur on humanity may have been an indirect reference to the John Terry saga, but it could be argued that it is true of anyone who attains celebrity-status. You don't have to be invisible to 'get away with it' these days, in fact quite the contrary - it's better to be highly visible, that's the way to get away with practically anything.

The idiot known as Ashley Cole is a spectacular example of this. A gifted left-back he may be, and it would be fantastic if that were all he was known for. Sadly there can be fewer individuals so lacking in self-awareness than Ashley.

Even if we were to forgive his marital transgressions, because we're not directly affected by them, there was the famous episode that caused his departure from Arsenal - one which he related in his autobiography - 'nearly crashing his car' because he heard they were offering him £55,000 per week not £60,000.

So, the ever humble Ashley reveals the state of his finances - expecting our pity when few of us can earn in a year what he brings home in a week. To add insult to injury he then goes out speeding, escaping from invisible paparazzi. Being caught doing 105 mph in a 50 mph zone earns him a 4 month ban and £1,000 fine.Of course he could go quietly, but that's not Ash's style. Instead he asked for 21 days to pay and, even worse, he got it. As a footnote you should know that Ashley was stopped whilst driving his £150,000 Lamborghini.

Celebrities are not immune from prosecution, but they do appear to be treated very leniently. Witness Pete Doherty, if you must, a feckless singer-songwriter and would-be poet, better known for his avaricious drug abuse. Despite multiple-multiple arrests, Doherty has now reached the stage where he can be routinely re-arrested every time he walks free from court.

His last court appearance was as a result of his previous one, as police found his pockets full of heroin wraps during the routine security search. He managed to wriggle out of the latest charge thanks to the fact that he's a paragon of virtue and had the fantastic excuse that he's got lots of coats and this was one he hadn't worn since giving up drugs.

As an excuse it's almost up there with Ashley's latest risible sexting claims, Ash can only hope that Cheryl buys it as easily as Judge Martin Picton - who seemed to be unaware that most smack-heads will do anything to find the smallest microbe of heroin and rarely leave some lying around in one of their many coats.

The same is true - probably more so - on the other side of the pond where one of their top-rated TV stars is seemingly immune from multiple charges of matrimonial battery, and your celebrity can get you access to whatever quantities of prescription drugs you may desire.

Should your addictions to such drugs eventually kill you though, you might find that no-one is culpable. Perhaps our addiction to celebrity is a similarly intoxicating analgesic; we're amused by their foibles, inured to their captivating fragility. Oh look, they're human after all - just an exaggerated and over-publicised, bloated and pampered form of humanity. They're not immortal and they're far from invisible, but they can almost get away with anything.