September 2009 Archives

Technology's a trial. Naturally we take it for granted. Massive technological advancements that weren't available to our parent's generation, we treat them as our birthright and become indignant when they fail.

I'm trying to adopt this Zen-like approach as I battle through my ninth day without broadband. It hasn't been easy. The first challenge, when your ADSL signal dies, is to actually contact your Internet Service Provider. Naturally your significant dealings with them are conducted via their web-site or by e-mail, neither of which are available when you lose access on a Sunday as I did.

So, it's already day 2 by the time they know there's a problem. You fill in a complicated form which explains how you've already jumped through the hoops of testing the line with alternate routers/modems and line-splitters. All of which you had to retrieve from the loft of course because you'd assumed you no longer needed them, which was actually true. You fill in the forms and then you wait.

Celebrity chef James Martin landed himself in a bit of bother last week. Writing in a motoring column he gleefully described how he drove some cyclists into a hedge. Many people were offended, I wasn't.

I don't know James Martin. I rarely watch cookery shows and never see daytime TV. I have written columns and features though and I'd imagine that his claims were most likely to be what some might call 'journalistic license'. James was trying to clamber aboard the bad-boy bus, seemingly unaware that it departed some years back with Gordon Ramsey at the helm.

He speaks a universal truth though: motorists and cyclists don't get on. Regular readers (if such a beast exists) know that I've been cycling for under a year, I'm a novice. Given this status and the fact that I know I'm learning, I tend to do my cycling early in the morning before the roads get busy. Even then - using B roads and country lanes - I occasionally get into strife with motorists.

I was intending to avoid writing about The Beatles, but this week it would appear that they're very hard to avoid. In some respects this should probably make us sad, the fact that we're still talking about a band who split up almost forty years ago, but it also gives us an opportunity to reappraise them.

I am no Beatles aficionado, I am unaware of the minutiae around their existence, break-up and recording sessions. Indeed - as a perfect example of this - until watching a BBC documentary earlier this week I had no idea that the album Abbey Road was recorded after Let It Be. They were, of course, released the other way around.

The one outstanding thing about The Beatles, for me at least, is something that has always amazed me dating back to my earliest interest in music (let's call that 30 years). In fact it's two outstanding things - their progression and their productivity. They are two things that seem to remain un-matched throughout popular music.

The last day of the school summer holidays. Tradition in our household dictates a visit to Drayton Manor, even though the weather was suggesting that this may not be my best idea. Since what once used to be a surprise trip has since become an expected obligation off we went.

There is always logic to the decision, it marks the end of the break with an event and as some schools have already gone back it means that the park should be quieter. I have my own theme park tolerance formula: if the duration of queuing time is greater than the sum of the length of ride multiplied by the number of thrills then it's not worthwhile. Obviously I've never properly calculated this, but you tend to get a general idea.

This year I asked the children to eachbring a friend, to solve the problem of them arguing between themselves over which rides to go on. I had no doubt that they'd find something else to argue about, and doubling the number of kids under my control may also have been unwise but I could address those issues as they arose.

Drayton Manor is like an old friend, slightly dishevelled around the edges and having seen better days - but you're always pleased to see them. We have grown up with the park, and it's always had a range of rides that pretty much suited everyone. Although, after this year I fear we may have to upgrade to the older thrills of Alton Towers.