August 2009 Archives

Yeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!

Dame Edna Everage, Jason Donovan, Harry Kewell, Rolf Harris….and a certain weasel faced Ricky Ponting, your boys took one hell of  a beating!!!!

So we have done it, repeated the glory of 2005, and brought that little urn full of ash back to the UK. Wow, is all I can say, what a summer!

From the word go I really thought the series would fail to live up to the hype surrounding our momentous win back in 2005, but boy was I wrong! While it may not have had the panache or class of that series (the players back then were a bit special!) it actually probably ended up having more drama.

From Jimmy and Monty’s last wicked partnership down in Cardiff, to the super Fred show at Lords, the dismal defeat at Headingly, to one of the biggest comebacks of all time in the final game at sun drenched Lords, it had everything!

Add to that the fairytale that occurred with Freddie retiring, the debutant Trott scoring a ton on debut and of course game winning bowling spells through the series by Jimmy, Graham Onions, Stuart Broad and Swanny, and you can see why I am still excited just thinking about it 3 days after it has ended!

Oh and in case you missed it, to top it all we only went and won! Yes this is not the same Aussie side that ruled the world 5 years ago, nor is this England side exactly the best in the world, but all of that was put to one side as two extremely determined and focussed teams went head to head in the heat of battle and gave there all.

Strauss was a legend the whole way through the series, a rock with the bat, I thought his captaincy was spot on, especially in getting the players to bounce back from the two shocking 1st innings performances at Cardiff and Headingly, and his contribution, in a team of mis-firing players, should not be overlooked. I also think his partnership with the new coach Andy Flower (a top bloke) is one that could really allow England to build something special….but i am getting ahead of myself….back to this summer!

That we came out on top is awesome, I must admit I have been sitting back during the summer while everybody who has ever happened to accidently switch the radio on to TMS ranted and raved at me about who should be coming in to replace Ravi, about why Strauss is a useless captain, how the whole England team need to be replaced by an army of flannel wearing Ooompah Lumpahs (okay I might have made that last bit up!) and how they could do better….yeah right! All the time I just nodded, listened to what they had to say and carried on, as I genuinely, deep down had faith in this side (see blogs from earlier in the year!) and with all the band wagon jumping that was going on about bringing Ramps back, bringing in Harmison, and reanimating WG Grace so he could come back from beyond the grave and spank the Aussies driving me mad, I ended just nodding my head and keeping schtum. I simply could not put up with all the negativity surrounding the side, especially as most of the people spouting it wouldn’t know an off cutter from a googly, let alone have the ability and balls to face a guy bowling a  ball at you at 90mph.

I mean that's the thing with cricket, you could be the best batsmen in the world, and you can still get out cheaply by playing a bad shot, or getting a poor decision (that’s the whole point of the game), or you can have a lacklustre bowling spell when conditions don’t favour you, it doesn’t mean you are suddenly a bad player.

Obviously I want the uninitiated to get into cricket, as it is a truly wonderful game, but when people who have no idea bout the game start spouting off it does leave me angry! Why not just enjoy it, without feeling you have to try and tell everyone else how it should be played!

Dealing with all of this negativity and bad press, made the England task even harder, and the players should be admired in the way they did not let it get to them (some of the headlines after Headingly were hilarious – we were still 1-1 in the series, not 5-0 down!) and instead used it to spur them on.

I could sit and write for hours about everything that made this series special, but I will instead focus on one huge moment which for me summed up what the whole summer was about.

In Australia's 2nd innings at the Oval, they were set the mammoth total of 546 to reach to win the Ashes, simple as that, or so you would think. While they had had a solid start, the loss of two quick wickets seemed to setup the inevitable win, but Messrs Ponting and Hussey had very different ideas. Two batsmen who are truly world class, but were horribly out of form, decided that they were not going to let England get their hands on the urn without a fight.

Cue some brilliant batting, showing the edge and determination that had been prevalent in the whole series, as the two men at the crease were seemingly making a mockery of the record books and putting the Aussies in a position to actually go on and win the game.

Anyone that has seen these two bat before, will know when they do get in, they normally go on to make big scores, and I could really see Punter getting a double ton at one point and making it so that the urn would be heading back to Oz that the next day.

Then up stepped a man who, in my opinion, is one of the most talismanic sportsmen this country has ever seen, Freddie Flintoff. Having already made his mark on this series at Lords, injury and his impending retirement, and of course the emergence of Broad, seemed to have meant that in his final test match (cameo batting performance aside) his contributions would be minimal. Hardly fitting for the big man when you consider how often he has carried this side almost singlehandedly in the past.

Not to be out done by the young healthy whippersnappers though, Freddie had one last trick up his sleeve! From the moment Mr Cricket Hussey called Punter for the single to mid on, taking on the bg mans throw, I watched in almost disbelief as he nonchalantly picked the ball up in almost slow motion, set himself and then precede to throw down the stumps.

It was a moment of sheer genius and inspiration from the Lancastrian, and one that couldnt have come at a more pivotal time, the crowd were restless, the Aussies believed they could do it at 217-2, and yet suddenly their whole world came crashing down, especially when England picked up Clarke for 0 with another amazing run out a few balls later, with the team clearly pumped up now after Freddie's “Intervention”.

It was classic Flintoff, and as he stood still, with his arms held aloft in his now customary celebratory style, I knew that the Ashes were ours, and that however little you may have felt Freddie actually had done with bat and ball, he had left his impression on this series like no one else could!

As Fred ventures off into retirement from the test arena, he can hold his head high as being the man, for me anyway, who restored my faith in the England cricket team and who managed to seemingly get the whole nation on their feet believing the impossible, every time he got the ball in hand, and I hope more players come thorugh the ranks who give as much as he did, and wear their hearts on their sleeves….although maybe they could have a few less late nights!

So with the Ashes in the bag after an epic series, you’d think the England boys would be having some wild celebrations this week, although it is back to the grindstone in reality as they have a one day game against Ireland tomorrow, but one thing is for certain, that victory will do wonders for those Englnad players, and the big challenge ahead is to not get carried away like we did after 2005 and let our standards slip.

Hopefully though the lesson has been learnt, and this is the beginning of a great era of English cricket…fingers crossed!

As for those idiots down in London on Monday night after the West Ham Millwall game, honestly, what a bunch of wimps and eejits! You want to get in a fight boys, get in a boxing ring or on a rugby pitch with someone who can handle themsleves…..but oh no you won’t do that will you? Because you are complete and utter cowards and bullies, and take away the big gangs that you hide behind, and what have you got left at the end of the day? Pathetic individuals who have no care for life at all, and certainly no passion for football.

Seriously, I have travelled the world for many a year having to deal with the fact that from Mexico to the Middle East, every time you introduce yourself as an Englishman, the first thing that people associate with our country is “England? Oh yeah football Hooligans!”

Enough is enough, and it makes me sick!

Right then, rant over, I’m off to watch my beloved Arsenal play Celtic, in what will hopefully be a vindication of everything that is great about football!

Until next time my illustrious compadre’s!

So what a week of sport!

That man Usain Bolt was grabbing all of the headlines on Monday after absolutely destroying the 100m world record with a new best of 9.58 seconds………..that’s right, since he has come along, he has taken 0.16 seconds off the previous best of 9.74 set by Powell in 2005. To put this in perspective, it took Bolt about a year to get down to this time, while before he came a long, it took 22 years to shave the same amount of Calvin Smith’s 9.93 former record!

In other words Bolt is not just an incredible athlete, he is a phenomenon…..and it’s supposed to get harder to beat records as they get lower! I watched the race live with my girlfriend, who previously has not had a major interest in athletics, but she did start getting into Jessica Ennis successful bid to win gold in the Heptathlon, and of course, she could not take her eyes of the spectacle that was the men's 100m final!

Bolt can go quicker still, which is the scary prospect, and spare a thought for Tyson Gay who ran a gobsmacking 9.71, good enough to beat the world record set by Bolt in Beijing and take gold in pretty much any race throughout the history of time, and yet he wasn't even in contention behind the giant Jamaican…….imagine that feeling!

To be fair, Bolt should not be able to run that fast, his height means his natural levers are very long (this is the science bit!) and therefore he should not be able to generate the pace necessary to get them moving as quickly as he does……and its something that Bolt has had to fight against all his life. When he started he was told he was too tall, and to be fair if I had met a young Usain while studying Sports Science at Loughborough, I would have laughed him off the track too! Someone his size should not be able to be an effective sprinter.

Just goes to show you should never try and limit anyone's potential, if someone wants to do something, why should we stop them, just because they don't fit the traditional mould……I mean look at the impact Jonah Lomu had on World rugby and the introduction of backs the size of small buildings?? He was a freak according to Will Carling, but sometimes it takes a freak to make people realise you can think outside the box, now look how many sides have a guy Lomu’s size in the backs, and I for one love it…….unless its my responsibility to tackle them!

After the fun of the 100m final in the World Championships, came the ridiculous scandal surrounding the South African 800m gold medallist Semenya, which involves people claiming that she doesnt look enough like a woman and so therefore should be gender tested…….erm okay……well without being rude, I look at a hell of a lot of female athletes nowadays and think the same, they have become so similar to male athletes in build none of them look that feminine anymore, but to actually accuse them of being a man? That just seems crazy, I mean after all does no one remember Fatima Whitbread??

Hello!!!

Anyway, moving on, I am writing this while listening to TMS, and the incredibly drastic finale to the 2009 Ashes series at the Oval……….its so tense I have stopped biting my nails and am now down to my knuckles! Bell gave us a good start, but a typical England collapse has meant that my hero Freddie is in, and it really couldn't have been set up any better for the retiring legend if i had written the script myself. Lets just hope the big man can smash a few and make sure we post a minimum 1st innings total of 400, although personally I would have loved a good 5-600 on the board!

Will we win? As a patriot I will of course say yes, and as a cricket analyst i would also say we have a top chance, it will literally come down to who blinks first between these two good, but not great sides, and I cant wait to watch the drama unfold!

Oh and Sir Alex……….ahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahha!! Take that you moaning gits!! You were beaten by Burnley! Ahahahahahahaahahahahahhahahahahha!

Isn’t it great to have the footy season back? My beloved Arsenal put 6 past the Toffees, and then Liverpool and United have both lost a game already! I get the feeling this might just be a bit of a special season …….don’t ask me why, but I do feel that apart from Hull and Pompey, there aren’t many sides that will be a push over this year, and fringe teams like Sunderland, Tottenham, and Wigan will start to pick up their games and pose a real danger to the old top four…….obviously not forgetting Man “We have so much money we eat it” City!

Villa fans must be gutted though, in fact there was a rumour going around the Midlands the other day that O’Neil had in fact left Villa Park, but it was probably just for a sandwich or something, as he seems to be back there now!

I couldn’t believe that Lorenzo stacked it in the MotoGP when it actually looked like he had the beating of Rossi at Brno, but it was not to be, as the legendary pressure applied by the “Doctor” simply got too much for the youngster. With only six races to go, and Rossi having a 50 point lead, as well as the “Hoo-Doo” over his rivals, you get the feeling that it might be game over for Lorenzo, but the reason why I love bike racing is that you never quite know….so bring on Indianapolis next weekend!

It might all be rather elementary anyway, as I hear from a little bird that there is soon to be a new superstar in MotoGP who will come from nowhere to take next years title………..yes that’s right….its me! Okay I might sound a bit big headed here, but I have good reason, I did a day at the Ron Haslam School of Racing at Donnington, and if you want to find out how I did, check out the latest Motorcycle Diaries.

Oh bugger………Flintoff has just got out to Johnson…….dagnabbit!!!

I best go prepare my dinner, a nice serving of humble pie followed by a dollop of humility…….I hate Ricky Ponting!

I don't know, first of all we have no footy for ages, then we get an embarrassment of riches all at once, with the Football League kicking off at the weekend, the Carling Cup starting on Tuesday and then International matches last night!

Talking of embarrassments though……..Scotland…….ahahahahaahahahahah…….sorry I meant England managed to avoid one against the Dutch last night, sure it is still technically pre season for these guys and you can’t expect them to be on top form, but I think the the first half performances by some of our supposed best players would have induced even more worry lines into Capello’s already Gordon Ramsey-esque forehead. I reckon by the time we get to the World Cup in 2010 it will be so full of furrows that you could grate cheese on it.

But the Italian pulled it out the bag at half time, after two frankly embarrassing mistakes by Ferdinand and Barry (who lets be honest are normally two of the most reliable performers in the side) gifted the Netherlands a 2-0 advantage, by bringing on his army of super subs!

To be fair, I have often watched Milner and Defoe flatter to deceive, but not last night, as they gave us the much needed passion and pace to generate that we had been lacking, and am I the only who thought Carlton Cole actually looked pretty damn good?? Maybe working under Zola at West Ham has brought out the best in this perennial underachiever?

It was great to see England fight back, and to be fair there would have been no complaints from the Dutch if we had won it, but it was not meant to be, still it does make it interesting now in the race for 2010 spots in the squad, and you can bet Capello will be reiterating that no one's place is secure in the coming weeks, and I personally think competition for places is what this team really needs.

Anyway, job done, kind of, and lets now turn our attention to the Premier League which returns on Saturday, and I am going to be getting the low down and insider knowledge from one of the best in the business on Saturday in my Offside show as Paddy Power will be in chatting about everything from who will lift the title, to who will end up with the Golden Boot!

Don’t miss it, 2-6pm on Kerrang Radio this Saturday!

A big talking point today is that Women’s boxing is being allowed into the Olympics, and while I can see every argument against the sport (I used to know my brother had had a boxing match when we were younger because the next day the bathroom would be covered in blood!), I do think that, as with any sports, if the competitors are fully aware of the risks, and are happy to continue, then that should be up to them.

I also don’t see any reason why sexism should come into sport, if someone wants to play a sport, no matter what colour, creed, or sex, they should be allowed too, although I am thinking of banning my girlfriend from playing darts, simply because she is getting a bit good and is starting to beat me on a regular basis……even when I cheat and make up increasingly more desperate and random rules like, you have to hit the light switch to win……….in the bedroom.

It would be great to see rugby back in there as well, which it looks like will happen for 2016, just a shame that its not going to be included in time for 2012!

The saddest news this week I feel is that we will not be able to witness the return of Michael Schumacher to Formula 1 because of a neck injury, I don’t think there was anyone out there who wasn’t looking forward to seeing Schumey lock horns with Jensen, Webber et al again, and I was really pumped about seeing him go up against Hamilton, whom he has never raced, but you have to realise that if there was any chance he could get in that Ferrari, I think he would, so his injuries must have been pretty bad!

On a personal note I have managed to come through the dark times of my neck injury (6 weeks rest, 4 weeks rehab) and I have started back in the gym as of this week, trying to get some of the power and fitness (Ahem……I did used to have some honest!) back and hopefully even managing to get out and do some training again with the Birmingham Bee’s before they kick of their new season in Rugby’s all new Second Tier, the Championship.

Well part of me hopes that, the other part quite enjoyed sitting on my arse eating cakes watching other people go through the motions!

Until next time my friends!

Yes ladies and gentlemen, rejoice for once more 22 grown men running around a piece of grass chasing after a bit of leather is back to keep us entertained over the next ten months, and I must admit I am so glad!

I can not tell you how grateful I was to have a shed load of goals to talk about on Saturday afternoon on my Offside show, mostly because it meant I didn’t have to watch as much as I normally would of England's horrible capitulation at Headingley in the cricket….more on that later, first up……BOOOOOM Football!

Yes I would be lying if I said I haven't missed the razzmatazz of the footy season in all its pomp and glory, but even I, the worlds biggest optimist, didn’t see it coming back with such a bang! Right from the word go on Saturday the goals were flying in (let’s not count the Sheffield vs. Boro game – it was pants!) and they were lots of shock results on the cards, including Norwich’s unbelievable 7-1 drubbing at the hands of the mighty…..erm Colchester.

Already in the Championship you can see Cardiff are looking good, along with Leicester and Derby who picked up good early wins, but it must be said I actually think that in West Brom and Newcastle, who played in the late kick off on Saturday, you have two sides that have the potential to bounce back up. I was actually surprised by Newcastle, it almost looked silly with the wingers Duff and Gutierrez having so much pace that at times it looked they were playing against 12 year olds, but their wastefulness, tied to the clubs current predicament  meant that it was the Baggies who looked the better team, albeit until the final 15 minutes!

Sunday then brought about one of those true sporting rarities, Manchester United losing a cup final! Okay admittedly it was just the community shield, but Ancelotti wont care as you could see how much it meant to both sets of players to be on the winning side yesterday, and it is a psychological blow to their rivals, if only a small one, but wasn’t it great to see Fergie lose his rag at the end too, at least he hasn't lost his passion for the game yet!

Bring on the full fat Premiership campaign which kicks off next weekend!!

Talking of psychological blows, what a difference a week makes in cricket! After Edgbaston we were bemoaning the rain, and raving about how this England cricket side had the Hoo Doo over the Aussies coming in to the 4th test..whoops!

They always say beware a wounded Tiger, and wow did the Aussies come back firing, they may not have the talented individuals we are used in the likes of McGrath and Warne, but they could teach this England side a thing or too about playing together as a team to the best of your ability!

We got stuffed, and what the hell was going through those England players brains when they had the willow in hand?? Ah well, I do love the way every Tom, Dick and Harry then suddenly chirps up when England have a bad game about bringing in wholesale changes………….were these not the same people who were moaning when England tried one off selections last time round……Pattinson anyone?

This is the same team that was stuffing the Baggy Green wearers mere weeks ago, so why suddenly change now?? Did the Aussie’s make wholesale changes after we beat them?? No, they didn't and look how their players responded. Don’t get me wrong, being a Surrey fan and having met the guy a few times, the romantic for the game in me would love to see 39 year old Mark Ramprakash come in for the last test, score a double ton and win us the Ashes, but it shouldn’t happen.

Ramps is a top county player, and it bemused me that he didn't translate that to international games, but like Graham Hick, he was simply found wanting psychologically at the top. Hell if we want to go down that route, I hear they can do wonders with animatronics these days, lets get WG Grace back to open the batting with Boycott (although I actually think the latter would do that if given a chance!).

Seriously, while I hope Flintoff is back to let the selectors drop the eternal let down and all round wet sponge is Steve Harmison, I don't think we should be looking at making massive changes, they just need to look at what the team did differently building up to this test, and get it right for the Oval.

I also think that a lot of the sensationalism that follows the England side’s fortunes is because most of the people commenting on the sport haven't played it at a high enough level, how many times this week have I had a chat with someone who has laid down the law when it comes to the players misfortunes, only to find that they have never even faced a geriatric Octogenarian form 22 yards, let alone someone chucking it down at 90mph.

I’m not trying to be snobby, but cricket is one of those games where you can have an off day, like in golf, because it all can all come down to one moment, and unless you have truly experienced a ball being bowled at you at speed, moving in the air and off the seam, its a bit unfair to criticise these players, and anyway, as they always say, form is temporary and class is permanent. I do believe building the future of this team should be considered, before they bring in one off players, and you will be able to tell a lot about the players individually in this side by how they bounce back (hopefully!!) at the Oval.

Ah well, either way, they can’t do much worse than they did at Headingley!!!! Come on boys, all you have to do is win the final test and the Ashes are ours!

As a fan should we not be getting behind out players in this hour of need, instead of turning on them as if they were lepers???

Until next time my illustrious compadres!