Transfer Fireworks are about to start!!!

Normally I scoff in the general directions of experts, preferring to make up facts and generally lie about things instead....it's more fun, but for once I reckon they may have something.

First up the Barry saga, having been involved ion the press front down at Villa in the last season, I can tell you MON was just getting sick of constantly having to answer questions on Barry's future, and in some ways, although he will be a big loss, I don't think it will effect Villa too badly. In fact, some might say.....okay I say, its probably for the best, as its clear, although he had given lots to Villa over the last few years, his heart wasn't in it, and his desire to play Champions League footy in the end meant he just had to leave for a club that finished 4 places above Villa........on no hang on........it was 4 places below Villa??

Did Barry know that?? He did? Oh right, well I suppose the ambition of the club, and the fact they are paying him over £100k a week might have helped!

Anyway, his move may have only been for £12 million, but I think it will the start of a record summer of spending, and it wont just be Man City and Chelski who may go a bit mad on the transfer front.......as Real Madrid have got Florentino Perez back as President after an absence of 3 and a half years. Remember Perez?

He was the man that ushered in the first era of Galacticos at the Bernabeu club by signing Figo, Zidane, Ronaldo and Beckham for a combined £132 million within four consecutive seasons, and he has made his intentions clear by making a £56 million pound bid for Brazilian superstar Kaka, plus he has said he wants Christiano Ronaldo, David Villa, Vidic and Alonso, and the construction magnate has the money to do it, and the desire as he wants Real to dethrone Barcelona at the top of La Liga.

Of course the fact that the pound against the Euro is about strong as Mr Muscle, and the old version, not the new superhero animated one (which really freaks me out to be fair!) should mean that there will be a lot of movement of players between English clubs, as they look to take advantage of the fact that you wont be able to afford a newspaper and a coffee from Europe soon, let alone a striker.

Will Villa, Wolves, and the Blues have the clout to buy big against the likes of Man City for big names like Villa and Kaka? No, is the answer, but if they are clever they should be able to strengthen their squad with some top British talent instead of buying abroad, and maybe that's not a bad thing. The big question is though, can they hold on to their best talent?

Its a shame nowadays that in football it is more about who can pay the biggest wage than which club the player actually has any passion for or loyalty to, but I suppose that is the nature of professional sport, and so often you will see clubs bringing through top class talent, or nurturing a player through a lengthy injury, only for them to move on to the highest bidder when a club with a bigger cheque book comes in.

Although with the amount of money touted around as possibly being spent this summer, and in the current financial crisis, I think we should abolish traditional transfer fees, and instead try and buy players with items of equal worth.

For instance you could see Walcott being traded for a Ferrari due to his silky skills and pace, or John Terry being involved in a transfer saga with a brick wall as he is so solid at the back....see where I am going with this? It would allow clubs without the financial clout to compete with the big boys a chance to still secure some big names, as each transfer would only be limited by the manager's imagination!

Actually I think I could be onto something here, it would certainly make the close season a lot more interesting for the smaller clubs.

You could swap Titus Bramble for a donkey ( I know he has a good season), Steven Gerrard for a thoroughbred race horse, John Carew for the Colossus of Rhodes, the whole of the Baggies defence for a Colander, Gomes for..........well I don't know......a plank of wood? And of course, the big deal of the summer would be the emergence of Didier Drogba's huge move to Accrington Stanley in a direct swap for Tom Daley...........he is a diver....ba da boom.

If that fails, why not have some sort of Top Trumps system where any club can challenge another to a "duel" between two players, and then the club that is challenged gets to pick the category that they then have to compete against each other in.......say for instance.........height, and then if the challenger wins they get the player they went in for, but if they lose the challenged team gets to keep the challengers player!

Simples huh??? You could include loads of cool categories, as long as it was possible to have a quantative measurement, so everything from length of fringe, to IQ and amount of words spoken in a minute could be included (Reigning undefeated champion being John "Gets-to-the-thirst-fast" Barnes) and it would allow any team to possibly end up signing some of the biggest names around!

I can just see it next year, Lionel Messi signs for Blue Square Conference side Oxford United after they do a swap for an unknown teenage youth team player who happened to have really long toe nails..............