September 2008 Archives

I've always been a keen student of economics.

Which is why I'm ideally suited to explain the current financial situation.

My immense knowledge of Adam Smith, John Maynard Keynes, macro economics, micro economics, demand, supply, utility and marginal costs has led me to a major intellectual breakthrough.

I can now exclusively reveal that... we're screwed.

Big time.

But don't conclude that nothing can be done to alleviate the situation.

We can still play the blame game ...

And the big news this week was that a black hole appeared on planet earth - and swallowed us all.

No, not the one that was almost created by a giant nuclear physics lab stretching from Switzerland to France.

I mean the black hole otherwise known as Brand Beckham.

The one that sucks in the media's interest - yet radiates nothing.

For instance...

I had a scary moment watching the Republican convention on TV last week.

Isn't it bad enough that I'm terrified of spiders, heights, nuclear warfare and Jordan's eyelashes?

Now Sarah Palin has got my knees knocking.

The self-styled pit bull in lipstick makes Gordon Brown look as dynamic as Michael Foot's duffle coat.

I'm scared of her all right - but scared in a good way.

Listening to her speak to her party was a blast of cold, clean, invigorating air.

Okay, I hate everything she stands for - except for the fact that she stands for something.

Which is quite exceptional in the current climate.