Are your children really home alone?

By Manjit Ubhi on Dec 19, 08 12:14 PM

One of my friends recently discovered that her teenage daughter had set up a meeting with a 'boy' she had befriended on one of those internet chat sites. It transpired, when my friend intervened and rang the 'boy' that he was in fact a 35 year old man who was then insisted that he had done nothing wrong and that it was the girl who had 'done all the chasing'.

Many parents who have no choice but to work fulltime hours, millions of teenage children head home each day at the end of school and may be spending upto three hours alone until one or both parents are home; even then most are then too busy cooking, helping younger ones with home work and generally too busy to give undivided attention or to fully supervise their teenagers.

Most parents do not question that firstly their child needs their internet for homework and secondly that they then have these in their bedrooms. What this create is a sense of ease in parents' mind that their children are doing 'homework' and also keeping off the streets. Unbeknown to them their children may be more in danger in their own bedrooms than they ever were hanging round street corners.

Whilst many children may be adult enough to navigate the health and safety issues and not set the house on fire or run around with sharp knives; the minefield that is the internet includes violent video games, internet porn, alcohol, drugs, chat rooms and most insidious of all, loneliness.

Research reveals children as young as 11 years old felt lonely, worried, upset and sad.
The majority watched TV and went online. In April 2005 a government study found that one in ten teenagers go online to view pornography and also chatting with friends on the chat lines. Experts believe that they have evidence of paedophiles flocking to the chat rooms during the afternoons to take advantage of the children logging on to chat online.

Studies from US show worrying trends when children are left unsupervised or have to fend for themselves. They are more likely to end up smoking, taking drugs, drinking alcohol or have sex at a younger age.

The Joseph Rowntree Foundation found that 99% of 14 year olds drink heavily when unsupervised.

The latchkey experience is not all doom and gloom, research does also reveal that these children grow up with a sense of responsibility, many learn skills in cooking, doing household chores and helping younger brothers and sisters with homework as well as getting on with their own work.

Recent Government initiatives promise that schools will care for children from 8am till 6pm every weekday and during the holidays by 2010, with recreational opportunities as well as help with homework.

Experts advise keeping the PC out of the children's bedroom, make sure it is in the family space where an adult can supervise or at least be vigilant.
Keep an open dialogue with your children about the friends they meet and chat to on the chat lines. If you nag, shame and shout at children they will just become secretive.

Children learn by example, if you get drunk often and yet expect them to behave differently they may lose respect for you. There is always a danger that when they lose that respect for you they are more likely to confide in a friends and peers than in you.

If you children do have to be left home alone make sure you call them on the telephone regularly to reassure them.

When you do get time with your children, make sure you create the opportunity to give them your undivided attention rather than busying yourself with other chores in the house.

Many employers are able to offer flexible working for those with school age children.
Many children have a great deal of excess energy in their body ( hormones etc! ) and this energy needs to be expended through exercise and 'movement'. Unfortunately our sedentary lifestyles and lesser sports activities at school has meant very few children get the exercise they need. Create family outings such as walks to the local woods at the weekend or get them to help walk the dog or to help out walking a neighbours dog.