Tantric sex secrets to perk up your love life

By Manjit Ubhi on Oct 31, 08 06:00 AM

In our body-obsessed culture, the physical is given importance over inner values. In love, it's about the rush to attain the gold medal for being fastest to the 'Big O' and having had the most conquests.

Most men and women grow up learning about sex from TV, magazines and porn, where bodies are treated just as objects.

Women are said to looking for the men with big 'members'. Men are said to be looking for the tightest butts and the most pert breasts.

In the music videos teenagers consume with great ease, women are merely 'wallpaper' with no hint of them having an identity or being individuals.

Perhaps we should look to tradition to help to reconnect with that dearest of needs and the most primitive of urges - SEX.

Most will have heard of Sting, who apart from singing is believed to practice the Eastern art of Tantric sex.

Many of us have a crude awareness of it, most commonly that there are acrobatic positions and that the act can last for hours - giving us the joke of one position called 'the plumber' which is where you stay in all day but nobody comes!

Suffice it to say, these notions are over-simplified. The core aspect of tantric sex is the development of the closeness and bond at the deepest level with your partner through respect, yearning, love, reverence, play, exploration and connection through the breath and the body energy.

Rather than a physical act ,sex is seen as a way of attaining spiritual unification with your partner. So if you want to create a deeper and more meaningful connection with your partner, here are some simple techniques:

CREATE A SACRED SPACE

Many couples treat the bedroom, where most of the action takes place, as an office and TV room - some have lap tops and even their PC in there.

Many have a piece of gym equipment such as an exercise bike (often with cobwebs and clothes draped over it!).

These distractions do nothing to light the fire so, get rid of the TV, work-related paraphernalia, and exercise bikes. The primary aim of the bedroom is for love and sleep - hopefully in that order!

The room should be clean and tidy: no dirty laundry on the floor, no mouldy coffee mugs on the dressing table. Pictures and ornaments should depict couples or 'pairs'.

The 'killer' of love and intimacy occurs when there is the loss of mystery.

In initial courtship finding out about who your lover is can be exciting and compelling, but after a while you know all there is to know about them and although you have seen them at their best you have now also seen them at their worst.

Early morning bad breath, belching, grouchy, smelly ... you get the picture.

So in order to keep some of the mystery, girls, make sure you don't bleach your moustache in front of him. And guys, keep the windy noises to a minimum or at least out of her earshot.

The biggest love organ - steady - is the brain! So anticipation and building up to making love is needed. Your imagination and the build-up all adds to the charge and electricity ready to be unleashed.

Rather than chasing the 'Big O' as fast as you can, aim to increase bonding and intimacy through 'worshipping' your partner. To do this here's an amazing breathing technique to help connect you at a heart level to your beloved.

DO IT YOURSELF

In order to get used to this way of breathing, practice with yourself first:

1. On your fully clothed body, place one hand on your heart and the other on your genital area.

2. Close your eyes. Empty your lungs by breathing out.

3. Take a deep breath in, visualising you are breathing in through your genital area and drawing the energy up from inside your body to your heart area.

4. End the in breath at your heart and hold for three seconds, focussing your attention at your heart.

5. Breathe out. sending your breath down to your genital area. Practice for five more breaths.

6. You are now ready to practice with your partner!

TWO'S COMPANY

1. Stand or sit on the floor in front of your partner, fully clothed.

2. Put your hands in prayer position and bow to each other (this is optional).

3. Start by just holding each other's hands and gazing into each other's eyes.

4. Take your right hand and put it gently on your partner's heart area.

5. Both inhale at the same time, imagining you are drawing your breath up through your genitals and into your heart area.

6. As the breath comes into your heart area, hold the breath for three seconds, then breathe down into your genital area and out through the base of your spine. Repeat ten more times

7. Proceed to the next exercise!

HEART TO HEART

1. Start as before, face to face and with right hand on each other's heart. Gaze into each other's eyes.

2. Breathe in and imagine your partner's breath from their heart going into your heart.

3. Breathe out and imagine your breath going into their heart. Continue for 10 more rounds.

4. As they breathe in your heart breath, you breathe in their heart breath.

5. Repeat until you feel ready to start making love!

HEARTWAVE

1. To create a greater sense of connection the man can sit on a chair or on the floor while the partner sits astride on his lap with her legs wrapped around his waist (clothes optional!).

2. As before, breathe out of your heart and into your partner's heart. Imagine your breath going into their body, down their centre body into their genitals, and across into your genitals. As you breathe in, pull the energy into your heart.

3. A circuit is created and the sexual charge builds up. Repeat until you are ready to continue love-making.

You may not have reached your destination in record time, but by including some of these exercises into your repertoire you may end up having greater closeness and respect for your partner and for yourself.

Taking the time and making the effort to create variety and fun into your routine will create greater levels of intimacy and take the art of love-making to another level.