Happy ways

Don't worry, be happy...

As you might have guessed by now, I'm a firm believer in the power of positive thoughts and its benefits to our feelings and behaviour.

There is now an abundance of literature on finding out what successful people do, and then copying them.

So when my usually grumpy older brother remarked 'How come you're always so happy?' to me on his last visit, it got me thinking.

So I've trawled the latest findings on what researchers found across cultures, countries, rich and poor, young and old, in their search for what creates a general state of ease, joy, relax, trust, comfort, wellbeing, security and hope - collectively known as 'happiness'.

See if you can recognise your self in the following 'ingredients' for contentedness.

You've got a friend...

Most happy people had at least one very close friend or family member with whom they could be themselves fully. This other person knew their deepest darkest secrets and still loved them. The sharing was mutual and the relationship weathered stormy times through openness, commitment and love.

We are family...

Our brains are hardwired to be in groups and be close to others, even though it may be painful at times! People who had close family or community networks were found to be both mentally and emotionally more robust than those who were isolated or cut off from others.

These groups ( it could even be a support group or a political party club or a mother and toddlers group) enable a sense of belonging and of being understood. And, most importantly, that we are not alone.

Hi-ho hi-ho, it's off to work we go...

Given that we will all spend most of our waking life at work, how we feel about it has a major effect on our wellbeing. Happy people were found to have work that they really loved.

You don't have to be Sir Alan Sugar ( although having his money might help!) just to be in a job where you feel you are making a difference and where your contributions are valued, appreciated, recognised and rewarded.

You gotta have faith ...

People who held some sort of a faith or spiritual belief were seen as being much happier than those without a faith. It wasn't that they practiced a particular religion but just held beliefs that there was more to life than just the physical world. Interestingly, researchers found that even those who did not believe in God had used prayer during times of stress.

Please please help me...

It has been found consistently that when we help others, directly through voluntary work or, for instance, simply helping someone across the road (yes yes, we know the joke 'even if they didn't want to go across!') we get an amazing rush of good feelings often described as the 'halo effect', the benefits of which last for many days. The same feelings are generated by giving donations to charity or good causes.

School's out ...

Happy people are constant learners. You won't just find them as mature students but also learning wild and wacky skills.

Our brain needs to feel stretched and challenged constantly and the more you 'feed it', even with doing crosswords, the more neuropathways are established and the better your brain chemistry.

Keep learning, dare to face your fears and learn a new skill such as a foreign language or hang-gliding! By the way, did you know that when you come back from your two-week holiday your IQ levels will have dropped a few points because your brain has taken a holiday, too!

Here kitty kitty...

People who owned pets (not just cats, dogs and budgies but also goldfish and other exotic pets) were shown to have higher levels of 'get up and go' , had better immune systems, were more optimistic and more outgoing.

It is not just the companionship that these pets provide, but also a sense of responsibility, that this animal needs us for its wellbeing - and we humans have an intrinisic need to be needed. Stroking a pet also lowers blood pressure - but don't try that with the goldfish!

So maybe happiness doesn't exist 'out there somewhere' but is really inside us and in our ability to make good connections with others.