September 2011 Archives

Miaooow there, Keogh fans.
Bit baffled by this 'new, improved' cat food. I don't know much, but if it's 'new' it's not improved, surely?

It's that time of year. The two apple trees in our garden are hanging heavy with fruit, which is good news. Cats don't eat apples - the only thing worse than biting into an apple and finding a grub is biting into an apple and finding half-a-grub. I'm not a flan...sorry, fan.

Birds, however, do eat apples - and rodents feast on windfalls at the foot of the trees.

Therefore, it's like a moggy meals-on-wheels. I'm up and down those trees with the speed and agility of a, errrr, cat, which is not surprising.

The humans, however, lack my climbing ability. They climb gingerly up the trees to collect the fruit, get stuck - sometimes for hours at a time - and cry pitifully for help.

Strange thing is, I've seen firemen rescue cats caught in branches, but they've never come to our garden to rescue the humans - and they need their help more.

Off-loading the manky, mottled fruit is another problem. My human 'owners' used to near-force pensioners to have them. Then one old dear, who was handed 170 'cookers', suffered severe cholesterol problems brought on by over-dosing on apple pie.

I think it was the 42nd slice that did for her. Mind you, could've been the cream.
Now the humans simply leave boxes outside with the message: "Help yourself."

By the third day, the note is replaced by one that says: "Please help yourself."

By Day Five the message says: "For God's sake, please help yourself."

Dangerous things, apples in the wrong hands - specifically, William Tell's hands.

One fell from the tree and stuck the fellow moggie who shares our home, Kightly, on the head, which was a turn-up...or is that turn-over?

Poor thing was so concussed she spent an hour tottering sideways.
I think she must've been struck by a crab apple.