Cheshire Cat? Not likely

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Miaowww there, Keogh fans...

Not many people know this, but cats do have a sense of humour. Why do you think so many of us rub against people with cat allergies? And cough-up fur balls on expensive shagpiles.

We don't, however, grin. Whoever said 'grin like a Cheshire cat' must've been on something.

Just found out it was Lewis Carroll, and I'm pretty sure he was on something.

There isn't even a Cheshire breed. They name cats after countries - Persian, Siamese, Burmese - and dogs after counties: Staffordshire, Ayreshire and Yorkshire. The exception to the rule is a rare cat breed know as Cornish Rex, an area of Britain famed for its rex, which was down to the pirates, apparently. That must've been before they favoured parrots.

There's a reason for cats being named after counties, dogs countries. No one wants ther country associated with terrierists.

Ok, we don't laugh out loud, but cats have a different way of showing emotions. We purr when we're happy, hiss when we're aggressive and thrash our tail when we're annoyed.

My mate Ginger had an ingrowing tail. His owners had to have him x-rayed simply to discover what mood he was in.

In the end they paid a fortune to have the tail put on the outside. It was money well spent, providing hard evidence the mother-in-law wasn't welcome when she called round unexpectedly.