Keogh the cat : we moggies hate hot weather
Summer-time and the mousing is easy!
We cats love hot weather, just like you humans, but for very different reasons.
We sprawl out, like you, but we stay in the shade.
That's why the phrase 'cat on a hot-tin roof' is so meaningless.
If such a cat exists, take no notice of him, he's obviously a nutter.
Probably thinks he's Napoleon.
Not as meaningless as 'raining cats and dogs', however.
That's only relevant if there are poodles all over the place.
Interesting that you lot say 'mad dogs and Englishmen stay out in the midday sun'. That's because no cat is that 'barking'.
Interesting, too, that madmen are 'barking', not 'miaowing'....
Get the drift? Man has picked a nutter as his best friend.
When the mercury rises, humans shed clothes - we molt.
I'm currently molting so much that the leather sofa's gone mohair almost overnight.
They used to want me to sit on their laps, now they can't get me off quick enough.
Unlike you, however, we don't shed all our fur, otherwise we'd just be an ugly bundle of pink, wrinkly flesh...which is what I'm seeing among the humans at the moment.
In fact, I haven't seen so much pink, wrinkly flesh since the vet got a little carried away with his shaver on next door's moggie.
Don't know what the hell that was all about - she only went to the surgery to be de-wormed.
Strange, strange year for extreme weather, which is due to global warming, they reckon.
I don't buy it. How can a planet that's getting hotter produce so much snow?
We've had gale-force winds, flooding and Sahara conditions - often on the same day.
According to experts, within a decade we'll be labouring under a Mediterranean climate.
That's bad news for us British moggies - have you seen how thin those cats look on holiday?
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Authors
Mike Lockley - Freelance humour writer and columnist
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