Cats and the English language

By Keogh The Cat on Feb 3, 10 12:02 PM

If it wasn't for us cats, the English language would be missing quite a few phrases. That's got to tell you something about the popularity of us moggies.

There's 'raining cats and dogs', which I've never understood: you don't step in poodles when it's wet. There's 'you're like the cat who ate the cream', which is equally baffling: cats who eat cream look the same as cats who don't - they've just got milk on their whiskers.

Let's not forget 'the cat's whiskers', which is a lot more attractive than looking like the dog's b..., b..., behind. My favourite is 'cat on a hot tin roof' which is a human term for being anxious. Cats on a hot tin roof - and I've never been on one - hop from one paw to the other.

That's a human desperately needing the toilet, surely?

'Look what the cat's dragged in"...what the hell is that all about? Last night I dragged - sorry, carried - a live vole. So are they saying, 'you look very vole like'? Truly baffling.

If you're catty, you're bitchy, which is a cat word to describe a dog thing.

By and large, cat expressions are complimentary, dog terms derogatory. Those mutts may fetch sticks, but the humans still haven't got a good word to say about them. They call them 'boy', for a start. No one calls me 'boy', that's probably because I'm a girl.

Would you like to be referred to as a dog's dinner, be dog tired, have a hound-dog expression or be labelled barking mad?

If you're confused, you're barking up the wrong tree, which suggests there's a right tree to bark up.

Look how many things have been named after us cats: catamaran, cat-apult, cat-flaps, Cat Deeley, Katatonia, Atomic Kitten (actually, the last two are nothing to boast about).

What have dogs given this world? They dig up gardens, yet workman don't drive a dogger - that's something completely different.

And you'd be missing some pretty ground-breaking music if it wasn't for us moggies. We inspired such classics as 'Purrfect Day', 'Miaow That's What I Call Music', 'Furs Cut Is The Deepest' and, my all time favourite, 'Whoops I Trod In It Again'.