Cats wash more than students - you heard it here first

By Keogh The Cat on Oct 22, 09 01:52 PM

Living with humans, has shown me we have a lot in common.

We both like raw fish...well, the Japanese humans do, anyway. We both wash a lot...well, apart from the fat bloke at Number 17. We both hiss...admittedly, humans only do it when two little people called The Twins are on X Factor.

And we both 'spray' strategic points on our territory, although the male in my house protests he didn't mean to rust the toilet radiator.

But we differ in many ways, too.

Dogs are humans' best friend: they're cats worst enemy.

We sleep 18 hours a day: humans make do with a maximum of eight, unless they're students. Students sleep marginally more than cats. Cats wash a lot more, too.

They pay for sushi: we just nick it from next door's pond.

They take off their coat. We have to drop bits of ours all over the house.

But one of the biggest differences is running - or 'jogging', as some humans call it. Cats run when it's really necessary. We run when someone shouts dinner or a dog's chasing us or we're hunting something. We usually run up a tree, too.

Many humans run for no apparent reason at all: sometimes they'll gather in big groups and run for 26 miles. They call it a marathon.

This baffles me. No animal chases a sparrow for 26 miles - not even an imjured sparrow.

Maybe they're being hunted: what do they expect if they dress-up as giant chickens for the London Marathon? Mind you, that must've been one hell of a fox giving chase.

Watching them on TV, I'm pretty sure they've been called for dinner.

This proves something. Humans' sense of smell may be rubbish, but, boy, have they got good hearing!