A KFC bucket meal wouldn't prize me away!

By Keogh The Cat on Jun 12, 09 06:33 AM

Each night the deluded humans scour the garden and adjoining countryside for the kitten lodger Kightly.

If she fails to come when they call, they rattle her nibbles. Like a fool, she comes, is picked up and carried inside the house.

That's her night time fivolities over for the evening.
I get no such calls to come inside since I scratched the leather sofa. And, during the mating season, I wouldn't come for a chicken nibble, anyway.

I'm like a human in that respect. Only a man with a real problem would break off from an amorous exchange for a KFC bucket meal.

I spent last night asleep in a large plant tub. The other evening I settled down under a bush and the ugliest tom you've ever seen sidled over and made an improper advance. I asked what kind of a female he took me for.

He said, matter-of-factly: "You tell me? You jumped into my bed pretty sharpish."
It can be scary on your own at night and you've got to be careful when those creatures that are grey, with white black and white streaks and live in big colonies come along. What are they called? That's it...pensioners.

My mistake, it's badgers.

They reckon they give cows TB, which I don't believe. I haven't heard a cow cough yet. Years ago, if a human had TB he'd go to a sanatorium in the Swiss Alps. So do they put TB-riddled cows in fields on the Swiss Alps? If so, that means those kids and the nun in The Sound of Music were taking their lives in their own hands.

Foxes can get nasty, too. Since they abolished hunting, they've got too big for their boots.

They hate cats.

Poor old Kightly also died of fright when he came across one. "Run, run - it's a dog," she shrieked.

I pointed out it was, infact, a fox.

"So what's the difference between a dog and a fox?" asked the poor, deluded puss.
If you're a human, about five pints.