Dirty little itch-hikers!

By Keogh The Cat on Apr 1, 09 11:48 AM

The embarrassment of it...

I've got fleas, which has sent the human lodgers into a state of shock. They're bloodsuckers who sap your energy and the tiny insects in my fur aren't much better.

The Lockleys are disgusted. So am I. I'm sure I got the parasites from them.
If it's not them, I reckon it's the posh Persian up the road. Apparently, the fleas are attracted to clean fur, which is why I'm gobsmacked they've taken residence on me.

Ever since they were found, the humans have started scratching and stopped yours truly from sleeping on their bed.

Now I spend nights curled up on the kitchen coffee table, which is strange human logic. It's fine to be attacked by parasites during breakfast, but a no-no while you sleep.

The vet has debunked quite a few flea-myths. You can't catch them from toilet seats, which is a relief - that's where I get most of my drinking water from, unless the toilet duck gets there first.

Bizarrely, you're most at risk while mating and carpets are prime 'carriers', which begs the question: if a supermarket bag has fleas, is it a carrier?

The lesson for all cats is clear: if you mate with a carpet you're asking for trouble.

Apparent, fleas can jump farther than any other living creature, in size-weight ratio. I don't believe - there was that time when the Lockleys tried to bath me and I spent 15 minutes clinging to the artex on the ceiling. Also, the insects have shown little interest in jumping from me.

Poor Julie has taken the flea news very badly. She believes the vet thinks we're 'riffy'.

She hopes none of her friends will find out: better stop them from sitting on the sofa and carpet, then.

Our 'little problem' has some benefits, however. Yesterday, two religious blokes knocked on the door and said they wanted to save the humans from eternal damnation. Mike explained the family were enduring a bit of a flea problem and the pair scarpered, muttering: "sorry, but you'll have to be damned."

The vet assured us that some of the cleanest people he knows have had a flea problem.

He wouldn't name names, but admitted the Lockleys weren't among them.

This made Julie blub.

To get rid of the blighers, the vet put some cold chemical on the back of my neck, which is a waste of time and effort. It's my backside that really itches.

Julie asked how they got into the house in the first place. The vet reckons they're very good travellers.

Great! That's all we need - a bunch of itch-hikers.