Keogh the Cat : a dog's tale

Bad, bad news - the family next door have bought a dog for the kids.

It used to be a police dog with a difference - it worked for the plain clothes division and was allowed to wear a t-shirt and jeans.

The animal barks so much at night they're thinking of buying him a burglar.

Guess what they've called him?

Carpenter - because he's done so many small jobs around the house.

"It's the vet bills that are crippling us," moaned the neighbour. "The vet's discovered Carpenter's got an ingrowing tail and they will have to operate.

"Mind you, surgery will be cheaper in the long run. At present, we have to have the dog X-rayed to find out if he's happy."