Keogh the cat : it's snow joke out there!
I give in - what the hell's all this white stuff, if you get my drift?
It's no weather for a moggie. I even prefer it when it's raining dogs and dogs.
When you're as fat as I am, you end up dragging loads of the stuff on your belly. When you go indoors, it turns into a puddle, which is a very handy excuse for cats who aren't as well house-trained as yours truly.
The dogs round here seem to like it, though. They must be barking.
If man's best friend is so intelligent, why aren't there any maiowing mad people about, I say?
Amazing how many things are named after dogs and their habits.
If you've got a sore throat you're husky, you step in a poodle, humans have hound-dog expressions and hangover cures are hairs of the dog.
You wouldn't believe how many times shitzus appear in the English language, either: such phrases as the shitzus hit the fan.
The kids round here love the white stuff, but they don't go to the toilet in it - except for one really strange lad over the road. They even throw it at each other.
Strangely, Mike's has white stuff on his collar all year round. His mate Dan has been throwing it at him. Dan druff.
The last time my paws were this cold I was trying to fish a cod fillet from an open tray of the deep freeze. I got it in the end - the first prey I've had to catch then suck to death.
And they say us cats are cruel! You should have seen what the Lockleys did to that chicken. Stripped her bare, tied her up, then threw her in the freezer.
At least when I kill something it's quick.
The white stuff's come from Russia, the humans say, but is already going dirty: a real case of from Russia with Sludge.
If it gets any worse, the gritters will be coming out, I overhead.
I don't know how to break that bit of bad news to Kightly the Kitten. She finds the litter tray uncomfortable enough as it is.