Recently by Mat Kendrick

The revealing photograph Naughty Nigel didn't want you to see

A Jon McCarthy lookalike Bluenose and a rippling hulk of a Villa supporter commentate on the Second City derby for Sky's Fanzone.

WE know there hasn't exactly been a flurry of transfer activity at Villa Park so far this summer.

But surely Martin Laursen's unfortunate retirement hasn't left setpiece specialist Ashley Young with nobody to aim for from his corners...?

At least with regular taker Gareth Barry leaving and James Milner fluffing a couple of spot kicks on England under-21 duty, Ash has put in a pretty impressive audition for the penalty vacancy...

IT must be a month or so now since David Bentley made comments in a national newspaper about being in talks with Aston Villa, only for nothing to materialise.

And now, Final Word can reveal exclusive footage of the want-away Tottenham star again trying to attract the attention of Villa boss Martin O'Neill while chatting to his agent.

BIRMINGHAM newboy Roger Johnson met up with his Blues team-mates for the first time at their return to training this week.

But it's safe to assume that Roger's missus Melissa wasn't enlisted to help put the players through their paces at Wast Hills.

Shame really given that this WAGS' WORKOUT deserves a sneaky peak...(the exercise bit at least, if not the girly nail varnish bit).

I'M AFRAID I raised a few eyebrows with my line of questioning at Villa's post-match press conference following the victory over Hull - including Martin O'Neill's.

After filling my dictaphone with all of the necessary reaction quotes I tried to take advantage of the manager's happy mood by asking him about the goalscorer's latest fashion fad.

"Martin, is there any reason why John Carew has modelled his eyebrows on Ming the Merciless?" I enquired, after noticing the Norwegian had shaved stripes into his brows.

To which O'Neill replied: "I have looked at his face, but you wouldn't believe this, Mat, I didn't check his eyebrows.

"I think he would be very concerned about me going that close. I think he might look at me in a different light!"

Martin O'Neill loves a good yarn. So there's no doubt he's fond of the famous story about George Best's playboy lifestyle.

The former Manchester United legend is on his hotel bed with a wad of banknotes won in the casino and the current Miss World, when a room service porter knocks on the door, sees the scene, and asks: "Mr Best, where did it all go wrong?"

O'Neill might not be Best, and as we're all finding out now, his Aston Villa team are not yet the best.

But the Villa boss can surely empathise with his former Norther Ireland international team-mate.

A team which is currently 11 Premier League places better off than the one he inherited less than three years ago.

With the strong prospect of automatic qualification for European competiton for the first time in over a decade.

And a collection of talented young British players who have been a breath air for most of the season by challenging the established elite.

So, in this knee-jerk era where impatient fans are clamouring to knock O'Neill, it's worth remembering the Best anecdote and realising that, even after a month of misery, Villa haven't got it too bad.

"Mr O'Neill, where did it all go wrong?"

RECITING the names of heroes in a half-shell Leonardo, Donatello, Michaelangelo and Raphael is the closest I can get to total recall. Whoops, that's turtle recall isn't it, sorry!

But a kid from Walsall, I forget his name, has scooped a prestigious title by remembering a remarkable range of facts and figures.

The young schoolboy - his age has slipped my mind - was able to memorise and recall a long list of trivia about London Zoo, a selection of 27 unrelated objects, 40 unknown faces and a sequence of 38 random numbers.

And to think some Villa fans can't even cast their minds back to when Gabby Agbonlahor was a Holte End hero, all of four short weeks ago.

Short memories indeed.

Ironic cheers and boos as the claret and blues lose. Here's our video reaction to another Villa Park let-down