Sporting thought of the day

I've come to accept that Fabio Capello won't come calling.

After all, why would the Italian turn to a goal-leaking centre-half lacking pace, whose only previous football experience was a season in the Birmingham Alliance Sunday League and the odd 5-a-side kickabout, to represent the Three Lions?

However, I have renewed faith that my big international call-up could still come thanks to my late Scottish grandmother.

Well with the Scotland squad already ten players short due to a crippling injury crisis - George Burnley, I'm your man!

I've always wanted to go to Japan as well.