Fashion shows flat-form
Calling all heel-lovers, stiletto wearers, Victoria Beckham, glamour girls and drag queens. We must come together in unity to fight for our high heel-wearing rights, for it seems a backlash looks set to hit upon us:
The FLATform.
Being hailed the 'hottest' new shoe for spring 2011, it has already penetrated the minds and designs of some of the top designers, namely Prada, Chanel and Derek Lam, and on my short trip down the high street earlier, I spotted a pair of copycats in H&M. Ladies and gentlemen, this is not good.
Recently you will recall I reported on the inevitable trend for the low heel - a step up from flats, but still in no way acceptable to the sky-scraper-high-heel wearers amongst us. Well this, my darlings, THIS is worse even than flats. Worse because I imagine myself possibly giving in and purchasing some at some point, even though right now I find them the most repulsive footwear on the planet, after Uggs and Crocs.
A hybrid (never a good idea!) between flats and platforms, hence them being dubbed the 'flatform', the shoe is actually perfect for those of you who want to wear heels, but can't walk in anything but flats, but hate flats because they're too flat. All very well, but they won't give your legs the elongated, flattering illusion that a pair of actual heels will, and chances are, you may end up walking like a duck. You may also want to reflect on whether you would consider any of the following a good look: a pair of coloured bananas on the end of a pair of skinny model legs, an uglier take on the traditional Geisha shoe, a low pair of tin-can style stilts, the horrible 'flatform' soled foam flip flops I wore as a 13 year old and, perhaps worst of all, a pair of Spice girls-esque Buffalo platform trainers, sliced in half with a sandal upper instead of trainer. Forgive me if any of those options appealed to you, but... urgh!
Now I do appreciate that the more petite ladies (and gentlemen) amongst us may in fact see these as some great invention. After all, even if you are a high heel wearer, you must agree that walking around the city all day in heels is enough to test even the most hardcore, so in this case, maybe there is indeed some excusable scope for their existence. But for now, I think I'll stick to my high heels, low heels, and trainers (for exercise and sickness purposes only you understand).
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Sarah Morris - the Sunday Mercury's resident fashionista: pulls no punches when it comes to style.
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