Diva's TV date
I thought I'd wait for a little while before I shared with you my recent venture into television.
This is partly due to;
a) My realisation and despair at having put on a stone in the past year and without going on TV, which we all know makes you look 10lbs heavier, I already feel like a complete heffer (despite my recent gym efforts).
b) The subject was about dating. Or lack of, in my case.
Now before I go any further, I'd just like to clarify that although the show was talking about dating problems, my point was that I don't have dating problems, there just aren't any nice men to go on dates with. You could almost call it the Bridget Jones factor, except I'm not 30 yet (phew), I'm not quite a size 14, I don't get caught out wearing bunny costumes at weddings where everyone else is dressed normally, and quite frankly, I don't go home and cry whilst glugging an entire bottle of red wine because being single depresses me so much; I prefer white... (note - this is a joke, ie funny haha - I don't do this at all. Wine quaffing happens in social situations when I am not trying to do a January booze detox).
So this TV venture. Sadly it won't win me any Oscars, you've all missed it airing on TV, and I will probably now fizzle into a wisp of TV programmes gone by... eventually, once my mugshot has disappeared from view as the thumbnail for the video on youtube. But it did give me a taste of the other side of the lens.. and actually I found it quite exciting.
Now, naturally, going on TV you would of course want to look your best. So having not had time to plan my outfit until the morning I had to catch a train to London to film, picking my dress out took so long I failed to give myself enough time to sort my hair properly. Not that it mattered because the weather then got me and 'poof!' I was a coiffed disaster. But it's OK, I thought, I'm sure I'll hunt down some hair straightners en route somewhere..... but no. So TV debut fail number 1(I am dressing this up to be much more than it is here you understand, but leave me to my own little world for a moment will you please? Thanks - I want to enjoy it if it's my only 5minutes of 'fame'): puffball hair with an overgrown fringe unabling me to see properly and ultimately making me look moody, and which actually, I could have cut myself as I did two nights later. Fool.
Secondly, I partly worked my outfit around my stiletto boots, as I would on a normal day, because naturally, cameramen focus on filming a pair of feet when you're talking... erm? TV debut fail number 2: my dress, although nice when viewed in full, did nothing for me when sat behind a breakfast bar.
Thirdly, I should make like Victoria Beckham and learn to smile a little more. I have now realised why builders often shout 'cheer up love' at me in between their often pervy comments or grinning... although in my defence this is actually why a scowl appears across my face in these situations (girls, I'm sure I'm not alone here). TV debut fail number 3: Caught on camera almost unintentionally scowling. Attractive!
It could have been worse of course... apart from the fact that the dating expert, whom I learnt was going to be on with me, is the founder of Get The Guy and turned out to be rather charming and extremely pleasing on the eye. Cue virtual jaw dropping to the floor behind my cool, calm exterior as I entered the green room and was introduced: Great, the hottest looking guy I've noticed in a while turns out to be the guy I have to talk to about dating... Oh someone let the ground open up and swallow me whole.
So that's the surprises over with right? No... the lovely Danielle Linekar also happened to be there too. Gorgeous, and extremely teeny, and instructed to sit next to me on screen. Little and Large suddenly sprung to mind...
I now see why celebrities can develop massive hang ups about their weight.
I decided to try the maple syrup diet made famous by Beyonce... it lasted all of about 2 hours. I like eating more than I like starving and getting grouchy thanks.
Back to the gym it is for me then!
Oh I suppose you want the link to the show do you... I'm afraid although I've told you all about it, I wouldn't like to make it easy for you. It's the Vanessa Show on Five. You can go find it yourselves. If you have to.
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Sarah Morris - the Sunday Mercury's resident fashionista: pulls no punches when it comes to style.
Headphones present you a good opportunity to have a rest with music)))
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