The Usual Suspects feat. Li-Lo, Jordan, Chezza & Cowell

First she thinks she'd make a perfect replacement for the nations alleged "sweetheart" Cheryl Cole, on The X Factor - she ain't the best singer like, but she can still 'ear notes (err, innit - and that's not a quote, just me mocking a very rich celebrity), now she wants to take her slot at the V Festival too (hang on, I thought you weren't the best singer love? Now that's not really going to work is it - I mean, at the V Festival, you actually have to sing and I for one don't want my ears to bleed. Oops. Did I say that?).
Hell, why not throw caution to the wind and just BE Cheryl huh Jords? Sorry Katie?
You know, just like the rest of us would like to apparently... apart from me. Sorry Chezza, but you hail from Newcastle and I have close relatives in Sunderland. By default I have to dislike you. Besides, I'm sure if you hadn't shot to fame with Girls Aloud and acquired stylists and the help of Victoria Beckham along the road to ridiculously successful stardom, you would still be sporting those oh so attractive corn rows and sweats; it's everything I go against my love. Sorry.

And next we have the delightful Lindsay Lohan.
Drink driving charges, breached court orders, non-appearance in court and now jail for 90 days as a result? Hey - you can see why Ungaro chose her to be their Creative Director can't you? Can't you......?
Well, I'm sure this rich little Hollywood wild-child and former on-off lover of Sam Ronson is a darling (hey - you can't believe everything the media tells you after all), but having just heard she's possibly due for release from her 90 day sentence after just 14 days... well forgive me for being a little bit peeved.
According to her attorney "all she asks is for your prayers and support".
What, so she can go and make another film for $Xmillion and run around living her LA lifestyle without a care in the world again? When anyone else would be publicly humiliated, called rotten by people around us and made to complete at least the majority, if not all of the sentence... Wow.

Oh the crazy world of celebrity. You've got to love it. Sometimes.