Gender bending: The new black?

By Sarah Morris on Mar 31, 09 10:57 PM in Gossip

Spot the difference in this image?

OK, so I very much doubt it will be a 'trend' big enough to be classed as the 'new black' equivalent of trends, however for some reason unbeknown to me, this week seems to be the week for gender swapping!

Take for example this evening. I've been at an event in a hotel. Now, when you hold an event in a hotel, inevitably you're going to be able to view the guests staying at the hotel, or just using the bar. Well this evening, there I was, almost minding my own business and chatting to a couple of colleagues on the balcony in this hotel., when my eyes dropped to the floor below... EEK! WHAT on earth is that below? Uncle Fester's girlfriend? It certainly looked like it! I could spot the bad make-up a mile off!

About 15mins later I needed to go down to the lower level to make an enquiry.. which meant passing by this seemingly future 'Mrs Fester'. Future 'Mrs Fester' and her friend both turned out to be Uncle Fester himself masquerading as women... in extrememly bad make up applied with a trowel. A word of advice for you both here 'ladies': make up brushes are a lot more subtle and help you avoid that awful drag queen look, which, although you both evidently are, is really not so convincing if you actually want to pass as a real woman. If you really must however, may I suggest you avoid taking style tips from Jodie Marsh and instead take a lead from those sickeningly beautiful Bangkok Ladyboys? Although here, I'm sorry, but I have to say that any man that looks more beautiful as a woman than a woman herself is just wrong and totally unfair... not to mention misleading!

Now I'll move onto girls. Now girls. This is not so extreme here. But has anyone ever wished, whilst at a festival and in desperate need of the loo when the queue for the ladies seems about 3 hours long (and ultimately puke inducing when you do finally get there), that they could momentarily become a man? By this I mean be able to find the nearest wall space, split your fly and then simply aim and fire (I think you get you what I mean here - excuse the crudeness)? Because I for one have certainly had my moments.

Well - if you fancy joining the boys, let me introduce you to the 'Shewee'.

Yes ladies, a 'She....wee'. This fabulous device I discovered at the Outdoors Show (at NEC Birmingham) last weekend fits around your ladybits down "there" and encompasses a funnel so you can pee whenever and wherever you need to without having to squat and hope for the best. Hey - if you want to join the boys' in competing for the 'longest genitalia' prize then there's always a funnel extender you can buy too...

Don't worry though - if you feel you need this device but would still like to keep an element of girliness about you, you can buy them in pink...

Whatever next?!

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