ALIENS IN THE ATTIC : INVASION SURVIVAL GUIDE
In the event of an extra-terrestrial attack on your house follow these 10 simple rules (and don't panic!)
1. Get your parents, pets and any members of the older generation out of the house pronto. The last thing you need when you're combating hostile aliens, is your mum and dad asking: 'What's all that noise up there?!'
2. Assemble anything you can think of that might make a good weapon. The garage is a good place to start - think garden equipment, paint guns, bubble machines, catapults, marbles etc. Often the simplest things can be turned into brilliant alien-toppling devices.
3. Armour up. Got a bicycle helmet? Put it on. Any rollerblading protective gear? That'll be good too. You never know what kind of toxic, flesh-eating slime, creatures from outer space might squirt at you.
4. Rally together a hit team of reliable brothers-in-arms. Ideally you need to get the following types of people on board: a muscle-head (make sure he goes first at all times), a gadget nerd (to identify alien equipment and dismantle it if necessary), an expert in communications (who can try to negotiate with the critters - try French class) and a few other impressionable kids who look up to you and will anything their told.
5. Assign everyone on the team a title. This is important as it gives them a sense of responsibility. Make yourself Commander in Chief and nominate a Deputy Chief, a General, an Explosives Expert, a Communications officer and a Head of Recon. Badges are a good idea too.
6. Choose a secure look-out point from which to stake out the aliens. It's important to observe your enemy and get as much intel on them as possible, so that you can get the upper hand. Ideally, you need somewhere that's high up and well hidden so that you can study your enemy from a distance with binoculars.
7. Expect the unexpected. When it comes to aliens, you never know what kind of hi-tech, otherworldly weapons and devices they might have in their artillery. They could have gravity boots that mean they can scale walls and ceilings, memory controllers that could put you into a trance at the flick of a switch, or holo-projectors that mean they can duplicate themselves and trick you. So, you need to always be on your guard.
8. Decide on an emergency code - something that's easy to remember and easy to shout clearly. You'll need this in case of the worst-case scenario: one of you is taken hostage. Make sure everyone knows the code, and what to do when the alarm is raised ie. Run for your lives - and call the Police.
9. Keep reminding yourself of the first rule of the warrior code: 'All enemies have a weakness.'
10. This one isn't essential, and obviously fighting aliens is no holiday, but if possible, try to record some of the events on camera. Capture an alien on film and you might just make your fortune!
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Alien Attack Survival Kit
- Duct tape
- Batteries
- Flashlight
- Wireless webcam
- Remote control car
- Laptop
- Binoculars
- A big box of snacks
Find out what happens when aliens really do attack - in the action-packed new movie Aliens in the Attic, out 7 August!
Authors
Paul Cole - Paul Cole - Lost, Torchwood, Sci-fi, Dr Who and anything worth getting the Anorak on for
Steve Wollaston - Wookie-loving Star Wars fanatic with a love of all things Dharma and sci-fi. Our resident You-Tube trawler.
Daniel Smith - Would-be scientist who can't add up. Believes Sisko is the best captain and Ronald D Moore is some sort of god.
Scully - Roving geek, with interests ranging from comics and sci fi to genre shows you may not have heard of yet, via John Cena (guilty pleasure). She wants to believe Lost is going to end well, but people do consider her a skeptic...
Jaymeetee - Marty Mcfly loving film buff, on a mission to watch and review all of the imdb.com top 250 movies
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